Thursday, August 15, 2013

ruminations on potato chip flavourings

so, i decided to try the new "perogie" flavour of potato chips, amongst a few others. i kind of have a strange urge to try all the potato chip types. needless to say, it was more or less false advertising. it tasted sort of like a mild barbeque. yet, it got me thinking: what would i have *expected* a perogie potato chip to taste like? is the idea even coherent?

see, perogie is a complex flavour. you've got your bacon, your potato, your sour cream. how are you going to get all that into a bite-sized potato chip? i've noticed a correlation between disappointing bags and complex flavours. so, maybe we should go back to basics, here. what, exactly, *is* a flavoured potato chip?

if we look at the staple flavours we notice a pattern, which is that the goal is to emulate something somebody would do with a potato, or probably with a french fry. we've got ketchup, for example. that makes a lot of sense, as ketchup is pretty popular on french fries. there are the varieties of cheese...things. cheesies. doritos. dill goes well on potatoes as well and had been ported to multiple mediums. there's a strong consistency, here, as you continue to explore: salt/vinegar, those peppery ms. vickies things, sour cream, barbeque and even the frankenstein approach of "all dressed" that sort of makes me shudder to seriously contemplate.

following this line of thought, i'd like to provide a few more stable suggestions that may actually be worthwhile. by focusing on all these complex things that make no sense as potato toppings., they're really taking the wrong approach, here.

1) mayonnaise. this is the most obvious thing ever, actually. globally, mayonnaise is actually a more popular french fry topping than ketchup is.
2) mustard. i'm a big mustard fan myself, i have to say, so i've actually gone to the length of dumping a pile of mustard on the side of the plate as my condiment of choice. if you're not as large a mustard fan as i, you've surely at least accidentally mixed your fry in it with it, and it was delicious wasn't it? you could even do limited edition bourgy dijon twists...
3) mayonnaise + mustard. obviously.
4) salad dressings. well, you've done this. salad & fries. they end up mixed up. caesar, ranch...actually, i'm a big fan of that orange shit. catalina?
5) soups. tomato, mushroom.

whether you think these are good ideas or not, you must surely admit they make more sense than pizza or bbq chicken or other such nonsense.