Thursday, June 30, 2016

i've been to a doctor a few times this week about the degenerative disease it seems like i have. that's something i'm going to be doing over the next year or two, as i seek to figure out what the fuck this is.

i need to be clear: i don't have a clue what it is. not the slightest. it's a lot of the same symptoms you get after a stroke, or get when you have ms, or get when you have als, or get when you have cancer, even...

these are symptoms that have been bothering me for around ten years, now. in some ways, they are getting worse. yet, they kind of come and go, too. i just always lived with it. facial tics are annoying, but not worth the time to see a doctor. i can deal with a sore back every now and again. & etc. but, the dysphagia has been really scary at points over the last couple of years. this isn't new, either, though - i remember it being awful for short periods as far back as ten years ago. what's new is that it hasn't receded now in quite a while.

the first thing i wanted to do was quit smoking habitually. done. since january. i wanted to make sure i wasn't just dehydrated, too, and i think i've ruled that out. the next thing that i wanted to do was rule out an ear infection, as a lot of the symptoms seem to be centered on my left ear. what's the point in getting mris and talking to neurologists for the next ten months if i just have an ear infection, right? so, i did that this week. i will get results on monday and am not certain what they will be. the doctor eliminated an actual infection as a cause, but the admin seemed to note something unusual around my ear drum when she was doing aural testing.

i don't think i had a stroke, although i've had periodic fainting spells for years (none recently). i got rid of them by not smoking on an empty stomach, although i think some of it was also heat stroke. i also think that this has been going on for too long for it to be cancer. the simple truth is that nobody has untreated cancer for ten years without the symptoms getting overwhelming. yes: the dysphagia is bad right now. but, it always previously came and went. if i had a cancer in my ear ten years ago, i'd almost certainly be dead by now.

so, i've kind of long deduced something like ms (or als, or...) by default. what else could it be?

well, something i've overlooked this whole time is lyme disease. i was just reading up on it. the symptoms are pretty accurate - especially the facial tic. i don't explicitly remember the rash, but would i have been able to tell it from a mosquito bite? i've had lots of mosquito bites over the last ten years, and some period of being "eaten alive". the absence of a rash is not absolute, either. you'd think that untreated lyme disease for a decade or more would be pretty serious by now, but that's at least a way out from ms or als.

the only other way out that i can think of is that my jaw keeps healing wrong and then fracturing and then healing wrong again, and it's basically just fucked that side of my face up so badly that everything has stopped working right. essentially, then, my face would be fucked. i know you appreciate my technical definition and in depth knowledge. but, i think there is something to this.

i wanted to do this one thing at a time to keep the issue straight in my head and i don't want to see a neurologist until everything else is ruled out. let's say i have ms, in the end. it's untreatable. i lose nothing by waiting for the diagnosis. i gain everything by avoiding a misdiagnosis.

so, i will go in on monday after i get my hearing test results and set referral appointments to check both for lyme disease and for skeletal issues. i'm also going to see if i can get my tongue checked for cancer, just in case.

it's only once i go through that process that i will consent to see a neurologist to check for a degenerative disease.

right now, i'm honestly kind of leaning towards lyme disease. - and i'm irritated with myself for not thinking of it sooner.
i got some listening in this morning as i was doing grocery shopping, although i kind of crashed when i got back. i also had to do some mundane tasks like wash strawberries, budgeting, etc...

the listen was over inri001 and inri002, and while they were both only half-engaged listens (while doing things like analyzing tomatoes), i can at least say i expect to close them both fairly quick, presuming the gear co-operates.

i think i'm going to wait for more careful listens before i do any final thoughts analyses.

29-06-2016: going for a hearing test and coming home to a noisy room

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-cassette-demo-1
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

Friday, June 24, 2016

a strange inversion around a small joy formidable show in ferndale

so, i got out of the house a little late - it wasn't initially a cause for strict concern, and there was a bus waiting for me at the stop. score. but, i was a little surprised by how full it was. in the fifty or so times i've taken the bus over to detroit, this was the first time i had to stand. the bus was just packed with young females, and i kind of wondered where they were going but was really more concerned about what effect this would have on customs...

had i been allowed to just walk through, it would have been nothing. but, this request was denied (itself unusual), which had me stand on the bus for an extra twenty minutes. i was literally getting off at the first stop, meaning they had me sit there on the bus for twenty minutes to take the bus about 100 yards. it's just another example of the absolute absurdity they have people go through at the borders for reasons of political bullshit. one day, we'll get together and abolish this border altogether. we'll send the cops home without pay. there will be parties in the streets. until that day comes...

the end result was that i missed the bus, and nearly missed the bus after that. it was about a half hour delay, altogether - and absolutely needlessly.

--

i then got stuck in traffic in detroit, also for the first time. how is that possible? well, i suppose it was an earlier show than i'm used to. there's also continuing construction in detroit, which had me take some weird detours i hadn't taken before.

i ended up at the bus station around 8:00, which was doors. i was intending to be there closer to 7:00, to get to the venue for doors - because i wasn't sure what kind of crowd this band could generate in a city like detroit. i knew it was a smaller venue than i might expect. was that a good guess on turnout or a poor booking choice?

--

the opening band started playing as soon as i walked in. i'm not going to say a lot about them, other than that they didn't impress me at all. which is not to say they were terrible, just painfully generic. kind of like an uninspired cure. or the smiths. which is basically the same thing.

(in the background, shots can be heard)

there was an unusually short wait between sets. or, at least it felt that way. i'd guess they were on around 9:15. i got out of the venue a little after 11:00 - so we got a nice long set. i have to admit i was expecting that, but it's also not at all like the kind show i'd usual go to so it was a nice change.

the set was a mix of the expected and the unexpected. some of the tracks were identical to the versions on the record (and included things like sampled strings, which is forgivable - one would hardly expect them to bring an orchestra, if the strings were ever even live in the first place, and why would they be nowadays?), whereas others had rather substantial rearrangements including instrumentation and tempo shifts. the lead singer at one point remarked that if they were going to play the record as it was, you'd might as well stay home and listen to it in your room. i'm not sure i agree that i'd might as well have stayed home, but i appreciate the switch-up nonetheless.

they even came down into the floor of the audience for a short, totally unplugged (no mics) acoustic set. this only worked because the venue was so small, and the crowd was so sparse. i certainly didn't have any trouble getting in; i've learned that detroit is very american-centric across the board, so it wasn't a surprise that the crowd for a welsh band was underwhelming. the scale, however, hit me off guard. in truth, they could have played a much smaller room.

...except they couldn't have, because we would have all walked out with bleeding ears. this was about as small a space as a band like this can play without compromising the dynamics. you might think the smaller room, the better but you'd be wrong. i saw loma prieta in a closet once, and it was the perfect space because the sound caved in on itself. this band isn't like that; it needs a little air. the volume wants closer walls, yes, but the ambience wants you to open the room.

as this band is from wales, this tour may be the only chance you get to see them in an actual venue. i don't doubt they'll come back, but they tend to play open-air festivals. there's reasons for this that are very tactical, and i'm sure it's a fun experience. but, i'd argue that the ideal is seeing them in a closed room for the reasons i've mentioned.

i do, however, have to critique the setlist a little. they seemed overly focused on album tracks. they even played a b-side (which is the track i caught, here). that meant that they dropped a lot of the harder hitting, single-type tracks that seemed like they were written to play live. i'm not sure what they were thinking there. it could have been venue specific. but, i'm not sure that logic really holds. if you write a song to play live, that song is going to be even more powerful in a small space than it is in a big space.

that's a minor criticism, though. like i say - you should get out to see them while you can because i think there's a pretty high chance that they'll never do anything like this ever again.


here is a full set:


i explain in the day's vlog that the commotion in downtown detroit was a beyonce concert:


http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/06/14.html

skipped shows

i intended to catch this at mocad last night, but my schedule didn't co-operate and i ended up falling asleep instead.

i must also admit that i didn't want to take the bus with the fucking guns 'n' roses fans.


actually, i should point out that i skipped the screaming females on tuesday as well, but it was very conscious - i know they only play half hour sets, and they're touring right now with three other bands, all of which are terrible. so, i'd have to go all the way to ferndale, suffer through three shitty sets and then get rewarded by having to spend the night in the dunkin' donuts, because i'd have missed the bus.

i will (and have) get stuck overnight if it's worth it. the show didn't strike me as worth it.

i would like to publicly request that the band drop the facade that they're still some unknown punk band from jersey or something and just do a real tour already. nobody's going to get bored if you do an hour set. promise.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

journeying to third man records, and then around the back way to ufo to see a couple of bands

this was actually somewhat of a long day at the end of a long month of too many shows, too much drinking and too much walking. by the end of it, i was dragging myself home to my couch, where my ankles gave out minutes before i passed out...

--

i'd never been to third man records before, but figured the free show was worth coming down early for. it was a combo thing. i probably wouldn't have gone to either set on their own.

i'm really not sure exactly what i was expecting; maybe, something like a chain store in a mall. i think i realized that it was going to be a little bit plastic. but, i wasn't expecting to be basically walking into the gap. well, they had a couch. with peppermint pillows. and a stage. with excellent sound. yet, it very much felt more like an apparel store than a record store - from the layout down to the staff. if they were going for authentic, they missed it by a very wide mark.

the sound in the store was incredible. i don't think i've ever heard an inside set sound that dynamic outside of a theatre; i don't know who he's got working there, but he knows how to separate the instruments. the drums had an open-air sound. the bass was kept out of the way out of the guitars. and, the result was a really excellently sounding set from a nice spot on the couch.

it turns out that the band got added to the second show, meaning i didn't have to come down there early. but, i don't feel it was a waste of time because i got introduced to the sound system in the building.

i hope that more people take advantage of the sound in the building.  i'm going to guess that capacity is around 100, which is not much smaller than any other rock bar in town.


i walked from third man to the ufo factory, which took me around an area of detroit i hadn't been in before. i actually mostly felt ok along the walk. i'm not sure why it is, but it seems like there's a really long strip between mlk and temple that is sketchy for miles both ways, while it's more or less fine on either side. it might have something to do with the way the highways intersect detroit, which creates these large areas of dead space. poor planning or purposeful sacrifice? i don't know. but, i'm starting to learn that it's mostly cosmetic, or at least is in the day.

it didn't stop a lot of strange looks, both friendly and concerned. i walked by a young black couple that seemed surprised to see a lily-white thing walk through there, but in a good way. i was a pleasant surprise. an older white woman actually slowed down and rolled down her window to ask if i was ok, before she sped off on to the highway, clearly frightened. i got honks from middle-aged black men, followed by fingers pointing in safe directions, and then head shakes. more concerned looks.

it was truly only a few blocks from third to trumble - a very short march up mlk. but, it demonstrated a cross-racial perception: i was insane to walk through there. at 6:30 at night. in broad daylight. whites and blacks agreed. men and women agreed. i can't claim i fully understand, but i *do* think i should take the hint and go around next time, whether i think it's necessary or not.

--

i got to the bar around 7:00. doors were at 9:00. while i nearly tried an artistic hot dog (raspberry sauce? hummus? peppermint?), i was feeling a little bloated from too many dorito-nachos and refrained. next time.

it was a bit of a wait out in the back, but i can't really complain. beautiful weather. cheap beer. ziggy stardust. life seemed good.

eventually, some people showed up and they brought me what i like. there's a public thank you to the scruffy dude in the golf shirt.

--

rabble rabble came on again, and the sound was nowhere near as good. but, i guess that made the set more real, too; they're not normally going to have a jack white funded sound stage to play on. what they're doing is a kind of an update on the concept of alternative rock, taking in bits of punk, psych and metal and swirling it around into something vaguely epic. the musicianship in the band is fairly high, which kind of takes it up a notch. definitely worth the $5.


the second band was a bit noisier than i was expecting, and there were some definite upsides. my solipsism senses went haywire when they did a cover of soundgarden's dusty, as it just came up in the alter-reality. it's only a wild coincidence, slothrop. see, the guitarist tended to get himself stuck in what cornell would call "guitar trances" when describing thayil, which is not inherently bad, it's just that he didn't have the chops to pull it off. there's two options, here: up your game, or tighten up. either is acceptable. but, it's a necessary choice. really. it wasn't at all bad, i wouldn't skip it, but it just dragged a little - and i like me my lengthy post-rock, too, you know that.


here is a full set:


i was already done by the time heron oblivion came on, and it consequently acted as somewhat of an anti-climax. the way i describe this in my day-after video review is that the band is walking a delicate line that the slightest push off balance is bound to instantly unravel. now, this band has two members of comets on fire in it (including the guitarist). it seems to me that he felt like he was getting mildly upstaged by the previous two bands, who both wanted to push their guitars in your face (with varying actual results). this mild push blew the entire thing up. but, what i'm getting across is that it was inherently unstable in the first place.

it's hard to take these loud psych guys and force them to behave while the drummer gets out these kind of delicate, fragile vocals. that's the draw to it - it feels like it's about to explode, but it doesn't. except that it actually did on this night...

the other thing i should point out is the song selection. in hindsight, it's not surprising that the picked the more upbeat tracks to perform. but, it's the darker and slower ones that are actually more compelling to listen to. i've been guilty of this repeatedly: i flip the filler with the substance. well, it's relative, right. but, i show up expecting them to perform what they think of as filler (and what i interpreted as substance), then get kind of bored with what they're calling substance (and i'm interpreting as filler). again, i think this goes back to the reality that this musical configuration is inherently unstable. a bad isotope. the sound of gamma decay.

hey, they got one record out, and that's probably more than should be expected. i think catching this band is going to be hit or miss - if you catch them on a good night, they could be mesmerizing. that wasn't this night, though. overall, it's probably worth the gamble.


i left a few minutes early to catch the bus, only to have the bus come in a half-hour late. see, i don’t want to complain, exactly. i just wish that the schedule was more clear. if i had known the bus was going to be a half-hour late, i would have stayed later…

when i did finally get home, i more or less collapsed. my ankles were not happy with me. at the end of it, i lost my train of thought in mid-sentence and just found myself knocked right out. at least i got some sleep.

here is the day's vlog:


http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/06/02.html

thoroughly confused by lunch cult

i wasn't able to get footage of the show, and rather than present a narrative (which would not be very interesting), i've decided that it's better to just point out some of the things that confused me to the point where i avoided footage.

to begin with, i really wasn't expecting a keyboard player. the samples suggested that the band was operating roughly somewhere in the space of the pixies, with a bit of an odd sense of humour - think butthole surfers, maybe. there was no hint of keyboards, whatsoever. so, when they came on and started playing some kind of love song, i actually thought it was a different band and nearly went out for a smoke, instead. but, i found the drumming a little bit interesting, so i came back in.

i'm not sure why they played the set they did, but the drumming largely saved it. the drummer had a tendency to go into contextless temper tantrums, like a bad caricature of animal from the muppet show. see, here's the thing: i know my phil collins. well. even when the rest of the band was being ironic or stupid (there was a confluence of ironic into stupid, here), listening to the phil emulation was worthwhile.

otherwise, i wish i would have realized what i was going to see. i would not have paid customs and then brought booze to detroit to see what i actually saw, which was operating on some kind of level of satire in a way that summed to a gigantic waste of time. they did a few tracks that were recognizable, but most of the set was actually done in the form of a parody of a crooner band. the bulk of it was purposefully lame lyrics, sung purposefully out of key over purposefully bad music. you could have told me you were going to do that before hand, guys. i would have saved the cash for something else. jerks.

i would normally say something like "it's worth the $5.". i will very rarely dissuade somebody from seeing something i've taken the time to go to. by trying to be ironic, and just ending up being really stupid, lunch cult have earned my rare ire to the point of an active non-rec. save your money, don't go to the show.

that said, i have to point out that i didn't have a terrible time. i mean, i would not have gone to the show if i know what it was going to be - i've stated that twice now, and i want to be clear of it. but, i'm not easily confused, either, and they managed to spin me around pretty good. is this really them? do two of the bands have the same members? are they combining sets?

it was nothing like that: they were just taking the piss. and, piss taken. but with a consequence: not recommended. at all.

--

the other bands weren't particularly memorable. i barely recall what the beverly tenders sounded like, other than thinking it was a little better than i was expecting due to some thick guitar effects work. the last thing that came on was literally karaoke.

vlog for the day:


http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/31.html