any tension relief from refraining from coffee is being reversed by struggling to stay awake more than 12 hours. i felt alert around noon, but now i'm a walking zombie. i'm going to let it sit for tonight nonetheless, and likely hit it pretty hard tomorrow.

now that the weather's cleared up, i want to get out to some more shows. part of the point of this was to force myself to hang out in the art spaces of detroit to meet people (which i'm very bad at), but it really seems to be a lot of terrible. i'm going to get out to see some rock shows, though: torche, screaming females, lightning bolt, loma prieta, la dispute...

one thing that became a little clearer as the tension came down a bit was that a part of what's happening is related to the bones. i think there's some chips in there, although it's hard to get to cause and effect. the earliest i remember this happening was after i got a tetanus shot after i smashed my face in when i fell of a bike, in 2005. i'm not pinning anything on the tetanus shot, but it seems that the bones never really healed properly. i don't know if all the tics are chipping it, or if the chips are causing the tic..

i'm glad that the blu-ray install was painless. the plug & play picked it up (never clear with this version of xp that i've hacked into pieces. i can't get it to read my sansa mp3 player consistently, for example. but it seems to be good with drives.), and imgburn knows what to do with a big iso. so, i didn't even have to install any new software. it's kind of like it just worked. how about that. must be a talented tech that set it up that way.

i'm trying to get rid of an expired bottle of peanut butter, but am going to crash shortly. it seemed promising this afternoon. it really did. but it's been a long time since i've been off coffee...

one more day for recovery/detox. i'm going to try to hit torche on friday.....

i literally slept all due tuesday (my legs were too sore for much of anything), and spent most of yesterday immobile but got my eating playlist padded for another few months. that's actually a time consuming process, the way the feeds are designed. it would be nice if you could jump to a specific point in the feed. alas...

my legs are back, at least.

i'm going to spend the next several hours getting information off my politics page. i'll likely only take a dent out of it, but this is a good time for it. i'm basically sick.

as for the effect? well, i'm feeling my perception of time slow down a little. a bit of tension has removed itself from my head and neck, but it still lingers - i think it's still releasing. and i'm more hydrated, which is an all around positive regarding skin and everything else. but the facial ticks have merely slowed down.

i'm sticking with the water. no doubt. but i think i've convinced myself the coffee is not the problem. and i'll consequently likely get back on it and back to work next week. i need a few more days though, to let the tension really wind down....