Jessica Amber Murray
so, about that laptop... it's fine if you hang on to it until you get to windsor. what i'm thinking is probably the best thing to do when you get there is to take that one back, buy a new hard drive for this one (it shouldn't be too much) and then lend this one to you indefinitely.
ESA
No its ok! You can have it back now. I dont mind, really.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's not really the biggest priority for me. if you're using it, keep using it. i don't need it in any kind of urgency. are you going to want this one once i put a new drive in it?
ESA
Im trying to figure this out wth my dad.
Also, do you think i can move in with you for a bit?
Possibly? I ddont want to get rid of leroy :(
And i dont think i can quit smoking either
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. ok... so, the landlord thinks i'm a non-smoker and i promised i wouldn't bring any pets in the place. you can crash for a bit, and leroy can hang out outside, but i can't let you bring leroy in the house and i have to ask that all smoking is done in take-a-walk form. i'm pretty serious about quitting, or at least cutting down to almost nothing.
ESA
Oh ok..
I want t cut down too. I think i can only cut down to five a day though.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i've quit before. are you saying i can accomplish something you can't?
:P
i just can't have smoking around the place. and i told him it was just me coming, too....
ESA
Well. I am more addicted than you
No matter what, i win
Jessica Amber Murray
bah. i bet i've been smoking longer.... i'm going down next week. i have to run this by him first. and he's probably going to think i totally tricked him. i'm going to say this is tentative. again, i promised i'd tell him if i was going to let people stay for more than a day or two.
i *think* it should be fine..
it's just..
when you sign a lease for one person, and two people move in....
ESA
You dont have to tell him anything. Youre not doing anything illegal
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't want to start shit off on a wrong foot, though. i like this place and want to be there for a while.
the guy is actually really cool. i think he'll be fine with it.
ESA
Yeah ok. It was just as a last chance, if this room doesnt work out.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm pretty sure it's probably fine. it's funny. he asked me about ten times about a girl moving in. i was like "no". he was like "yeah, right. so when a girl moves in, just let me know." :P i think he'll be fine i just can't guarantee it... so, does that mean you don't need the computer anymore? if that's the case, i should grab it.
ESA
My dad is lending me his netbookk.
Jessica Amber Murray
k. well, when he does let me know. i'm going to be busy tomorrow and friday, but i can grab it on the weekend. although...i guess you're going to be somewhere else tomorrow....
ESA
Hmmm dunno
Jessica Amber Murray
are you in hintonburg now? could i grab it now?
ESA
no im not
will be later
at 9 i'm playing risk with playa if u wanna come
we need a third player
k lemme know
Jessica Amber Murray
i think i'll just stop in quick to grab the laptop, there's a thousand things i need to do tonight (and i have to be up early for the funeral). just lemme know when i can drop by for a sec...
ESA
At 9
Actually can u come later in the week? I need to use it tomorrow to email university of windsor and other stufff.
Jessica Amber Murray
sure. just let me know when you get the netbook.
ESA
k
Do u wanna play risk?
Oh shit i didnt read your message
Never mind. Omg nevermind.
Hug hug hugzzz
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. it's ok. half of me wants to come, but i don't want to stumble in there half hungover. i've already been threatened with expulsion by my stepmother, which is like...try it...you know... i'm likely to get really edgy and start yelling. i think it's better if i chill by myself for the next few days.
ESA
Makes sense. Do yo thang gurrlllll
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Re: request for estimate
Your total price for the move is 2200$ and that includes everything; gas, driver, truck, tools to move, wrapping your stuff.
Please contact us for a confirmation.
Please contact us for a confirmation.
mom
Did you figure out a way yet?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i'm still exploring options. i want to give the trucker option a few more days before i book something.
mom
Sounds good. Hope it works out....Something will come...Always does.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm even steven. everything always works out for me.
mom
:)
Did you figure out a way yet?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i'm still exploring options. i want to give the trucker option a few more days before i book something.
mom
Sounds good. Hope it works out....Something will come...Always does.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm even steven. everything always works out for me.
mom
:)
request for estimate
i'm moving from ottawa to windsor. the amount of furniture is minimal, but i have a lot of instruments and boxes of books and cds to move.
i should only require one mover. if it's possible, i'd like to also hitch a ride down with the truck. in all honesty, i'm considering the option of pro movers almost solely because i don't have a driver's license; i'm looking for a driver more than i am a mover. the actual moving itself is of minimal labour, and i'll be glad to help move the objects on and off of the truck myself.
so, this is what i'm moving:
- 1 bed
- 1 desk
- 1 recliner chair
- 1 bookcase
- 2 pcs (one has a standalone crt monitor, the other has an lcd in a box)
- 6,7,8? guitars. i can't even remember. most are in cases, a few are loose.
- 2 synthesizers (one in a box, one in a case)
- a boxed electronic drum kit
- two full stereo systems (receivers, standalone cd players, speakers, cassette, vinyl)
- i'm going to over-estimate the number of boxes to about 50. most of them are grand and toy paper boxes full of books, cds and other various things. some of them have electronics (mixers, controllers,etc).
all in all, i think i need just slightly more space than a budget-type cube van, but note that if i can fit everything in except a box or two then i'm comfortable mailing what's left.
j
i should only require one mover. if it's possible, i'd like to also hitch a ride down with the truck. in all honesty, i'm considering the option of pro movers almost solely because i don't have a driver's license; i'm looking for a driver more than i am a mover. the actual moving itself is of minimal labour, and i'll be glad to help move the objects on and off of the truck myself.
so, this is what i'm moving:
- 1 bed
- 1 desk
- 1 recliner chair
- 1 bookcase
- 2 pcs (one has a standalone crt monitor, the other has an lcd in a box)
- 6,7,8? guitars. i can't even remember. most are in cases, a few are loose.
- 2 synthesizers (one in a box, one in a case)
- a boxed electronic drum kit
- two full stereo systems (receivers, standalone cd players, speakers, cassette, vinyl)
- i'm going to over-estimate the number of boxes to about 50. most of them are grand and toy paper boxes full of books, cds and other various things. some of them have electronics (mixers, controllers,etc).
all in all, i think i need just slightly more space than a budget-type cube van, but note that if i can fit everything in except a box or two then i'm comfortable mailing what's left.
j
Jessica Amber Murray
if it turns out that the cheapest way to do this is to get a budget rental van, drive down there, drop the van off and then send the driver home on the bus, would you be willing to be the driver? you could stay a few days if you want.
what i'm hoping i can arrange is for a trucker that's going through or to windsor to literally drop by their place, pick the stuff up and give me and the stiff a lift down. that would be cheap and convenient, but i'm not sure it's going to work out.
mom
OMG!...I do have a valid license...But...J...I have been drinking beer for days now!...And what about my Charlie Brown?...It would be a nightmare!.....Harley's are roaring outside like bangbuster gangsters right now....I think they are telling me it is not a good idea for me. Sorry.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's ok, i'll try to find somebody else.
mom
Sorry. I want to be helpful, but am unable for this.
if it turns out that the cheapest way to do this is to get a budget rental van, drive down there, drop the van off and then send the driver home on the bus, would you be willing to be the driver? you could stay a few days if you want.
what i'm hoping i can arrange is for a trucker that's going through or to windsor to literally drop by their place, pick the stuff up and give me and the stiff a lift down. that would be cheap and convenient, but i'm not sure it's going to work out.
mom
OMG!...I do have a valid license...But...J...I have been drinking beer for days now!...And what about my Charlie Brown?...It would be a nightmare!.....Harley's are roaring outside like bangbuster gangsters right now....I think they are telling me it is not a good idea for me. Sorry.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's ok, i'll try to find somebody else.
mom
Sorry. I want to be helpful, but am unable for this.
sears
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i called sears and the process works as follows:
1) somebody calls and informs sears that the cardholder is deceased. i could have done that myself, but i decided to wait to talk to you about it first.
2) sears mails a check to the estate of the deceased person.
so, if there's a credit on the card, you just need to call (or i can call back) and tell them. they'll send a check to your house.
i'm still hoping i can access this credit. if you'd like, i can call. you could then sign the check over to me.
if you still don't want to do that, so be it.
as for the discussion last night, i want to reiterate that i do not want to fight over the next few days and that there will not be a problem at the funeral tomorrow or on friday unless you decide to create one.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i called sears and the process works as follows:
1) somebody calls and informs sears that the cardholder is deceased. i could have done that myself, but i decided to wait to talk to you about it first.
2) sears mails a check to the estate of the deceased person.
so, if there's a credit on the card, you just need to call (or i can call back) and tell them. they'll send a check to your house.
i'm still hoping i can access this credit. if you'd like, i can call. you could then sign the check over to me.
if you still don't want to do that, so be it.
as for the discussion last night, i want to reiterate that i do not want to fight over the next few days and that there will not be a problem at the funeral tomorrow or on friday unless you decide to create one.
j
RE: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
if you're going to force me to make a scene, i'll make one.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
if you're going to force me to make a scene, i'll make one.
j
RE: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Ok....I will now have to notify the police of your intent!
You have now put me in a position where I will also need a police person here when you come get your stuff...
The will was signed by him and his signature witnessed at our lawyer's office in Nov 2011....
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Ok....I will now have to notify the police of your intent!
You have now put me in a position where I will also need a police person here when you come get your stuff...
The will was signed by him and his signature witnessed at our lawyer's office in Nov 2011....
RE: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
if you try and block me from the funeral, i'm going to smash down every door and break every window in the place. if you try and remove me, i'm going to attack with intent to harm. if you send the cops after me, you'd better tell them that while i'm not armed i'm certainly violent.
as for the will, i would like to see it, please.
he wasn't himself after the surgery. you said so yourself. mental retardation may or may not be the correct term to use, but he was certainly suffering from brain damage as the result of repeated lobotomies. that term was used in confidence with my mother in a state of frustration and wasn't meant to be circled around to other people. the way you're throwing it at me is also taking it very badly out of context. a mentally retarded person, or a person suffering from brain damage due to lobotomy, is not incapable of forming intents and desires. in dad's case, it put him in a degraded position where he was unable to do basic things for himself, but it didn't prevent him from having ideas or thoughts. it just prevented him from acting them out.
we had this discussion when he was in the hospital with the blood clots. yes, he was highly medicated and not thinking clearly as a result of that. however, he was legitimately concerned that he was being placed under the care of people that he didn't trust to fully act in his own desires. he was strongly concerned about losing the ability to sign things for himself and that it may result in decisions being made for him that he didn't agree with. i carefully assured him that the role of the caretaker in such a circumstance is to ensure that they are carrying out the patient's desires, and that he could trust me to make sure that his desires were carried out.
to place my comment in proper context, i was talking about how his death was a release from suffering. he was in constant pain, he wasn't able to think properly, etc. the mental damage he incurred caused him great suffering. i'm a strong advocate of assisted suicide. i feel it's better to let people release themselves from a cage of existential suffering, should they choose, than to force them through to the very end. i know he wanted to fight, and he fought hard, but in the end he gave up, and i do feel that, after several years of suffering, escaping from that suffering, letting go of that pain, is something that should be celebrated rather than mourned.
i have a different perception of death, probably largely because i have a different perception of existence and a different perception of religion. it would be more enlightened for you to try and understand and respect that different perspective rather than to forcefully reject it as an other.
but, as i was saying before, you have never been interested in doing that. you see the world through your own limited perspective, and reject anything that doesn't conform to it. then, you try to coerce other people to see things the same way as you do through shows of excessive force.
i'd just like to see the will, please. i'd like to see if he actually signed it himself.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
if you try and block me from the funeral, i'm going to smash down every door and break every window in the place. if you try and remove me, i'm going to attack with intent to harm. if you send the cops after me, you'd better tell them that while i'm not armed i'm certainly violent.
as for the will, i would like to see it, please.
he wasn't himself after the surgery. you said so yourself. mental retardation may or may not be the correct term to use, but he was certainly suffering from brain damage as the result of repeated lobotomies. that term was used in confidence with my mother in a state of frustration and wasn't meant to be circled around to other people. the way you're throwing it at me is also taking it very badly out of context. a mentally retarded person, or a person suffering from brain damage due to lobotomy, is not incapable of forming intents and desires. in dad's case, it put him in a degraded position where he was unable to do basic things for himself, but it didn't prevent him from having ideas or thoughts. it just prevented him from acting them out.
we had this discussion when he was in the hospital with the blood clots. yes, he was highly medicated and not thinking clearly as a result of that. however, he was legitimately concerned that he was being placed under the care of people that he didn't trust to fully act in his own desires. he was strongly concerned about losing the ability to sign things for himself and that it may result in decisions being made for him that he didn't agree with. i carefully assured him that the role of the caretaker in such a circumstance is to ensure that they are carrying out the patient's desires, and that he could trust me to make sure that his desires were carried out.
to place my comment in proper context, i was talking about how his death was a release from suffering. he was in constant pain, he wasn't able to think properly, etc. the mental damage he incurred caused him great suffering. i'm a strong advocate of assisted suicide. i feel it's better to let people release themselves from a cage of existential suffering, should they choose, than to force them through to the very end. i know he wanted to fight, and he fought hard, but in the end he gave up, and i do feel that, after several years of suffering, escaping from that suffering, letting go of that pain, is something that should be celebrated rather than mourned.
i have a different perception of death, probably largely because i have a different perception of existence and a different perception of religion. it would be more enlightened for you to try and understand and respect that different perspective rather than to forcefully reject it as an other.
but, as i was saying before, you have never been interested in doing that. you see the world through your own limited perspective, and reject anything that doesn't conform to it. then, you try to coerce other people to see things the same way as you do through shows of excessive force.
i'd just like to see the will, please. i'd like to see if he actually signed it himself.
j
RE: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
There is a will and everything goes to me. If there were anything left to anyone else the lawyer would contact them directly .Anyway, how could you possibly take seriously anything that might have been discussed in passing with someone you considered mentally retarded for the last 6 months....
...and don't try me as I will call the police if I have to....You should know that!
Why pretend you care now? Or is it for an audience?
As well, I am paying for the funeral so it is my prerogative to ensure it is not disturbed by someone who is acting irrational!
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
There is a will and everything goes to me. If there were anything left to anyone else the lawyer would contact them directly .Anyway, how could you possibly take seriously anything that might have been discussed in passing with someone you considered mentally retarded for the last 6 months....
...and don't try me as I will call the police if I have to....You should know that!
Why pretend you care now? Or is it for an audience?
As well, I am paying for the funeral so it is my prerogative to ensure it is not disturbed by someone who is acting irrational!
RE: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i would, however, like to know if my father left a will. if he did, i'd like to see it.
i understand that most of the wealth in the union was yours, and i don't want to take things that don't belong to me. certainly, $400 a month would eventually exceed his contributions altogether, let alone whatever he may have decided to put aside for me - i understood immediately that this was not a sustainable agreement and that it would eventually run out. however, i feel like he was trying to set something up that day in the bedroom, and that the agreement we came to was very important to him. he wanted to ensure i was taken care of because he's come to understand that i'm not fully capable of taking care of myself. notwithstanding the money that you did wire, which i appreciate, i'm a little disappointed that you decided to renege on the deal so quickly after his passing. i didn't think it would continue forever, but i thought it would be more than four months.
in truth, i'm just a little bit confused as to what he directed should happen and would like to take a look at his instructions myself.
...and i'd like to see you try to remove me from my father's funeral.
you're going to need a fucking army, or a lot of sedatives. i'll start throwing punches before i get led out. and i'll knock the fucking door down if you try and lock me out...
so, don't even fucking think about it.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i would, however, like to know if my father left a will. if he did, i'd like to see it.
i understand that most of the wealth in the union was yours, and i don't want to take things that don't belong to me. certainly, $400 a month would eventually exceed his contributions altogether, let alone whatever he may have decided to put aside for me - i understood immediately that this was not a sustainable agreement and that it would eventually run out. however, i feel like he was trying to set something up that day in the bedroom, and that the agreement we came to was very important to him. he wanted to ensure i was taken care of because he's come to understand that i'm not fully capable of taking care of myself. notwithstanding the money that you did wire, which i appreciate, i'm a little disappointed that you decided to renege on the deal so quickly after his passing. i didn't think it would continue forever, but i thought it would be more than four months.
in truth, i'm just a little bit confused as to what he directed should happen and would like to take a look at his instructions myself.
...and i'd like to see you try to remove me from my father's funeral.
you're going to need a fucking army, or a lot of sedatives. i'll start throwing punches before i get led out. and i'll knock the fucking door down if you try and lock me out...
so, don't even fucking think about it.
j
RE: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I totally agree it is best that we no longer communicate. I will likely see you Thursday and when you pick up your stuff next week that will definitely be the last time. Although your dad asked me to be there for you that is an impossible request. If by what you refer to as not supporting your decisions means others should work to support you then you are totally right.
The way you have treated your father and the things you have posted about him are atrocious. As well the way you have treated your sister is unbelievably ignorant.
It's not all about you! I have lost my husband and your sister has lost her father. During a week when we are grieving you have caused us nothing but extra grief and stress. I do not hate you but I do pity you and hope someday you will realize all the hurt you have caused your family.
I have no intentions of arguing with you but take heed that if you are not on your best behaviour Thursday I will have you removed from the funeral parlour!
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I totally agree it is best that we no longer communicate. I will likely see you Thursday and when you pick up your stuff next week that will definitely be the last time. Although your dad asked me to be there for you that is an impossible request. If by what you refer to as not supporting your decisions means others should work to support you then you are totally right.
The way you have treated your father and the things you have posted about him are atrocious. As well the way you have treated your sister is unbelievably ignorant.
It's not all about you! I have lost my husband and your sister has lost her father. During a week when we are grieving you have caused us nothing but extra grief and stress. I do not hate you but I do pity you and hope someday you will realize all the hurt you have caused your family.
I have no intentions of arguing with you but take heed that if you are not on your best behaviour Thursday I will have you removed from the funeral parlour!
Re: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i sent that last part, i'm very edgy right now. i did just lose my father, who has also been my best friend for most of my life. we haven't seen each other yet, but i'm more than a little bit shaky. i'm moving out of the city and trying to find a way to not spend the entirety of that $1500 on moving (i'd even like to give the bulk of it back to her).
i got a little overwhelmed for a moment and should have chosen my words more carefully. if i could rephrase that....
i find the idea that you would need d or ferris there extremely insulting. i feel it's rooted in a vendetta rather than anything rational. whatever delusion it's rooted in is not remotely reflective of reality. it's the end of a long string of extremely insulting gestures from you that goes back many years.
i appreciate the things that you've done for me, including wiring me the money the other day. but i think it's going to be better for both of us if we go our separate ways next week and no longer communicate at all. i think i've tried hard to be accommodating and accepting of you as somebody that is drastically different than me, and the sum of what i've received back is a lack of respect for who i am and what i want out of life. instead of being supportive in my decisions and helping me reach the goals that i've set for myself, which is what a good parent or parental substitute should do, you've consistently tried to force your own perceptions and ideals upon me. when you disagree with a decision, you withhold support and/or try and sabotage it. i don't think it's healthy for us to continue under these conditions.
again, i'm sorry for the language i used. while i legitimately feel your tactics are sometimes hateful and sometimes childish, and often vengeful, there wasn't anything to be gained by being standoffish or confrontational.
it's just a few more days. i'd be happy if we could get through this without fighting. i'll promise to try my best to not start an argument, and hope the feeling is mutual.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i sent that last part, i'm very edgy right now. i did just lose my father, who has also been my best friend for most of my life. we haven't seen each other yet, but i'm more than a little bit shaky. i'm moving out of the city and trying to find a way to not spend the entirety of that $1500 on moving (i'd even like to give the bulk of it back to her).
i got a little overwhelmed for a moment and should have chosen my words more carefully. if i could rephrase that....
i find the idea that you would need d or ferris there extremely insulting. i feel it's rooted in a vendetta rather than anything rational. whatever delusion it's rooted in is not remotely reflective of reality. it's the end of a long string of extremely insulting gestures from you that goes back many years.
i appreciate the things that you've done for me, including wiring me the money the other day. but i think it's going to be better for both of us if we go our separate ways next week and no longer communicate at all. i think i've tried hard to be accommodating and accepting of you as somebody that is drastically different than me, and the sum of what i've received back is a lack of respect for who i am and what i want out of life. instead of being supportive in my decisions and helping me reach the goals that i've set for myself, which is what a good parent or parental substitute should do, you've consistently tried to force your own perceptions and ideals upon me. when you disagree with a decision, you withhold support and/or try and sabotage it. i don't think it's healthy for us to continue under these conditions.
again, i'm sorry for the language i used. while i legitimately feel your tactics are sometimes hateful and sometimes childish, and often vengeful, there wasn't anything to be gained by being standoffish or confrontational.
it's just a few more days. i'd be happy if we could get through this without fighting. i'll promise to try my best to not start an argument, and hope the feeling is mutual.
j
sung with a bluesy swagger...
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
didn't know where i was, or if you'd see me no more
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
just had a crash course at the school of hard knocks,
and all you wanted to do was smell my socks.
all you wanted to do was
SMELL MY SOCKS
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
didn't know where i was, or if you'd see me no more
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
just had a crash course at the school of hard knocks,
and all you wanted to do was smell my socks.
all you wanted to do was
SMELL MY SOCKS
Re: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm going to call sears in the morning. that credit shouldn't just vanish. can i ask how much it was? it does make more sense to get things in windsor, but there's a sears in windsor....
there's a stove and a fridge there, but the landlord has waved responsibility in dealing with them. given that he's only charging $650 rent all inclusive...that's going to barely cover utilities and property taxes. this place would be about at least $1200 here. he'd be losing money if he replaced them. well, that's windsor, for you; at least by renting it, he's not just paying out taxes. i haven't plugged the stove in yet, but he says it works. i may be able to use it. the fridge is broken....
i'll give her the coat back, but i think she's being very selfish. it's going to sit in her closet; i could be wearing it. hell, i'd rather see it donated to charity than placed in the back of a closet. that's the least useful option. and i think he'd agree with me. jewelry and pens and trophies are meant to kept for souvenirs; clothing is meant to be worn.
i should be able to lift the boxes myself, there's nothing heavy being moved.
i'm going to go to odsp tomorrow and ask about the moving supplement. the website claims it's discretionary. i need to know if there is anything that is definitely *not* covered, and what things are most likely to be covered.
one of the ideas i'm thinking about is renting space in the back of a large truck. like, getting a trucker to stop by and pick the stuff up, then hitching with the trucker down. i'd only do that if it's really cheap. there are websites set up for this purpose. so far, the responses have been very expensive, but i'm going to give that a few days to work itself out. i wouldn't be able to know too far in advance, but it would be some time early next week.
i also may end up shipping things out by train or bus, in which case i'd need to make multiple trips and/or ask you to help me get the stuff there with your van (if it's still around - i haven't seen it recently).
the other option is to ask my mother to drive a budget van down. with gas and a bus ticket back, that's going to cost roughly $450. that's not so bad for a most expensive option, especially if odsp covers most of it.
i'll try to get more info in the next few days. but i don't really have any interest in playing stupid games, and would appreciate it if you didn't stoop so low as to waste d's time with your hateful tactics of childish vengeance.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm going to call sears in the morning. that credit shouldn't just vanish. can i ask how much it was? it does make more sense to get things in windsor, but there's a sears in windsor....
there's a stove and a fridge there, but the landlord has waved responsibility in dealing with them. given that he's only charging $650 rent all inclusive...that's going to barely cover utilities and property taxes. this place would be about at least $1200 here. he'd be losing money if he replaced them. well, that's windsor, for you; at least by renting it, he's not just paying out taxes. i haven't plugged the stove in yet, but he says it works. i may be able to use it. the fridge is broken....
i'll give her the coat back, but i think she's being very selfish. it's going to sit in her closet; i could be wearing it. hell, i'd rather see it donated to charity than placed in the back of a closet. that's the least useful option. and i think he'd agree with me. jewelry and pens and trophies are meant to kept for souvenirs; clothing is meant to be worn.
i should be able to lift the boxes myself, there's nothing heavy being moved.
i'm going to go to odsp tomorrow and ask about the moving supplement. the website claims it's discretionary. i need to know if there is anything that is definitely *not* covered, and what things are most likely to be covered.
one of the ideas i'm thinking about is renting space in the back of a large truck. like, getting a trucker to stop by and pick the stuff up, then hitching with the trucker down. i'd only do that if it's really cheap. there are websites set up for this purpose. so far, the responses have been very expensive, but i'm going to give that a few days to work itself out. i wouldn't be able to know too far in advance, but it would be some time early next week.
i also may end up shipping things out by train or bus, in which case i'd need to make multiple trips and/or ask you to help me get the stuff there with your van (if it's still around - i haven't seen it recently).
the other option is to ask my mother to drive a budget van down. with gas and a bus ticket back, that's going to cost roughly $450. that's not so bad for a most expensive option, especially if odsp covers most of it.
i'll try to get more info in the next few days. but i don't really have any interest in playing stupid games, and would appreciate it if you didn't stoop so low as to waste d's time with your hateful tactics of childish vengeance.
j
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Ok well let me know about the costs and the date. All your stuff is neatly organized and stacked in the garage so it will be easy to load up.
I'd like to come pick up the coat tomorrow afternoon if you're around. That way you don't have to lug it on the bus on Thursday.
Thursday morning I can pick you up at South Keys if you're there by 9:45am, because I will be doing the driving. Let me know if you'd like me to pick you up, or if it's easier to just take the bus right there (I think the 98 goes right there, but I'm not sure).
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Ok well let me know about the costs and the date. All your stuff is neatly organized and stacked in the garage so it will be easy to load up.
I'd like to come pick up the coat tomorrow afternoon if you're around. That way you don't have to lug it on the bus on Thursday.
Thursday morning I can pick you up at South Keys if you're there by 9:45am, because I will be doing the driving. Let me know if you'd like me to pick you up, or if it's easier to just take the bus right there (I think the 98 goes right there, but I'm not sure).
Re: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
The credit that was possibly mentioned was on your father's Sears card. Now that your father is no longer here that card can no longer be used so you will have to plan accordingly. It will be cheaper for you to buy your furniture etc in Windsor now.
I told you when I sent the money for your rent that was it from me. All your belongings (music equipment and boxes) are in the garage but I will need notice before you come so that D or my brother can plan to be here.
As far as the coat goes if it is worth alienating everyone over so be it but your sister bought it for your dad to wear at their wedding.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
The credit that was possibly mentioned was on your father's Sears card. Now that your father is no longer here that card can no longer be used so you will have to plan accordingly. It will be cheaper for you to buy your furniture etc in Windsor now.
I told you when I sent the money for your rent that was it from me. All your belongings (music equipment and boxes) are in the garage but I will need notice before you come so that D or my brother can plan to be here.
As far as the coat goes if it is worth alienating everyone over so be it but your sister bought it for your dad to wear at their wedding.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
i found a site called u-ship that apparently allows truckers to sell off empty storage space in their trucks. it's an auction type site, so i don't know what kind of prices are going to be offered to me. for right now, i just put up an ad for the grand & toy boxes. i'll see what kind of response i get.
ideally, i'd hitch a ride with the trucker on top of it...
it doesn't cost the truckers anything except time, so this could be super cheap.
To: sister’s email address
i found a site called u-ship that apparently allows truckers to sell off empty storage space in their trucks. it's an auction type site, so i don't know what kind of prices are going to be offered to me. for right now, i just put up an ad for the grand & toy boxes. i'll see what kind of response i get.
ideally, i'd hitch a ride with the trucker on top of it...
it doesn't cost the truckers anything except time, so this could be super cheap.
Jessica Amber Murray
so, i'm moving to windsor. it's just a lot cheaper. getting stuff down there seems like a bit of a challenge, though. nana mentioned that when you came to ottawa you had stuff shipped somehow. i'm thinking that seems like the best option. what was the name of the company you used?
the youngest aunt
Hi J, Just heard about your dad's passing and I'm really sad for you and your sister. Bob was always super supportive of me when I was a kid, especially around music. That's how I remember him. I have no idea about the shipping company I used. I just called around and got the best price. A move to a new city is exciting and brings all sorts of new possibilities. I hope you make a happy life there.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. umm. did you use rail or bus? and approximately how much did it cost? i'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible and trying to get some kind of ballpark... the thing about my dad is that he was going through a lot of suffering near the end. well, the last several months. the last surgery seemed successful at first, but there were extreme complications from blood clots that put him in perpetual pain and some significant brain damage. what made the brain damage particularly difficult for him is that he was fully aware that his brain was damaged. so, even if he could have somehow beat the cancer (he couldn't have), he would have spent the rest of his life suffering with depression over a degraded mental competency. he wouldn't have been able to work again, and for him that was very key for defining a purpose. so, it's one of those circumstances where death was an escape from an existence that offered nothing but hopelessness and suffering. personally, i really dealt with all of these emotions in the months leading up to his death, and at this point i'm just glad that he doesn't have to suffer any longer.
the youngest aunt
Yes, it must have been very hard to go through all of that. Life is precious. I think I used a trucking company. It cost me $700. Cheapest way would be to drive it down yourself.
Heading uptown for jam night! Have you heard that I'm a rock star now? Hahaha!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, you said something about that. you should check out my friend's band, it’s the same idea with the three female singer-songwriters. well, it's sort of splitting up, they're doing their last show at the ottawa folkfest opening for vampire weekend. which is a helluva gig. but esa is coming to windsor, and one of the other girls is going to tunisia...
so, i'm moving to windsor. it's just a lot cheaper. getting stuff down there seems like a bit of a challenge, though. nana mentioned that when you came to ottawa you had stuff shipped somehow. i'm thinking that seems like the best option. what was the name of the company you used?
the youngest aunt
Hi J, Just heard about your dad's passing and I'm really sad for you and your sister. Bob was always super supportive of me when I was a kid, especially around music. That's how I remember him. I have no idea about the shipping company I used. I just called around and got the best price. A move to a new city is exciting and brings all sorts of new possibilities. I hope you make a happy life there.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. umm. did you use rail or bus? and approximately how much did it cost? i'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible and trying to get some kind of ballpark... the thing about my dad is that he was going through a lot of suffering near the end. well, the last several months. the last surgery seemed successful at first, but there were extreme complications from blood clots that put him in perpetual pain and some significant brain damage. what made the brain damage particularly difficult for him is that he was fully aware that his brain was damaged. so, even if he could have somehow beat the cancer (he couldn't have), he would have spent the rest of his life suffering with depression over a degraded mental competency. he wouldn't have been able to work again, and for him that was very key for defining a purpose. so, it's one of those circumstances where death was an escape from an existence that offered nothing but hopelessness and suffering. personally, i really dealt with all of these emotions in the months leading up to his death, and at this point i'm just glad that he doesn't have to suffer any longer.
the youngest aunt
Yes, it must have been very hard to go through all of that. Life is precious. I think I used a trucking company. It cost me $700. Cheapest way would be to drive it down yourself.
Heading uptown for jam night! Have you heard that I'm a rock star now? Hahaha!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, you said something about that. you should check out my friend's band, it’s the same idea with the three female singer-songwriters. well, it's sort of splitting up, they're doing their last show at the ottawa folkfest opening for vampire weekend. which is a helluva gig. but esa is coming to windsor, and one of the other girls is going to tunisia...
re: jacket
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Thank you J. I appreciate it a lot.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Thank you J. I appreciate it a lot.
re: jacket
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
ok. i will absolutely give you back the jacket on that basis to hold as a keepsake, if you think that's more important than me having a nice winter jacket that i'll wear on a regular basis. i'm not sure i agree with the logic, but i'll prioritize your feelings over that.
j
To: sister’s email address
ok. i will absolutely give you back the jacket on that basis to hold as a keepsake, if you think that's more important than me having a nice winter jacket that i'll wear on a regular basis. i'm not sure i agree with the logic, but i'll prioritize your feelings over that.
j
re: jacket
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
He walked me down the isle in that jacket. So yes, it has been worn. And that’s why I want it back.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
He walked me down the isle in that jacket. So yes, it has been worn. And that’s why I want it back.
jacket
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
ok. so, i've thought about this...
i'm just going to ask you to think about a few things before i offer it back.
first, i like the jacket. it fits well with my beatnik style; it would look good with blonde hair and a bit of red lipstick. he gave it to me, but that's sort of not factoring into my thought patterns (other than that he gave it to me - he owned, he gave it to me, therefore it's mine). if you really, really want it, though....well, ok. just let me run a few algorithms through your brain first.
i haven't worn it yet. i was thinking it would be good for the fall, but in truth i usually wear sweaters in the fall rather than jackets. so i wasn't sure i would wear it. it's a little heavier than i thought, though - still too light for an ottawa winter, but maybe just about perfect for a windsor one.
so, if i give you this jacket back, recognize that i'm giving you back a really nice winter jacket that looks good on me and that i can't afford to replace. it's not sentimental from my perspective, it's functional. this is something i'd benefit from hanging on to.
1) do you want the jacket for your kid? that seems to be what you're getting at - his grandfather's jacket. ok. i'm willing to give it back on that basis. HOWEVER...he never wore this jacket. the pockets aren't even broken. it's not *really* his grandfather's jacket, it's a jacket his mother bought for his grandfather and that his grandfather never wore. if you still think the gesture means something, i'll give it back. but does it really? and is it really more important than me having a nice jacket?
2) if you want it for sentimental value to just hold on to, it's the same sort of thing. it's a jacket he didn't wear. it's going to sit in your closet forever. i think dad would rather i take the jacket and wear it than have it sit in a closet as a keepsake.
3) are you going to wear the jacket yourself? well, then we need to take about who would get the most use out of it. i'm thinking i would wear it as an every day winter coat. would you wear it more often?
4) did you want to give it to your husband? well, that's sweet of you. but, again, it comes down to who needs it and would use it the most. i bet he has lots of nice jackets. and he can buy a new nice jacket whenever he wants. me, not so much...
i know you're claiming ownership of it because you bought it. but, you gave it to him as a gift, at which point you lost ownership of it. he made a conscious choice to give it to me. so, it's now my jacket.
but, that's not important to me. if you're attaching something emotional to the jacket, that's more important than who it technically belongs to. *i don't really believe in property rights*. what i do believe in is the idea that things should be made the most use of. i think the jacket should go to the person ho will make the greater use of it.
that person is either going to be me or the kid.
to break it down to something binary: do you think the reasons you want it for the kid are more important than the reasons i want to keep it? if you can answer with an honest "yes", i'll give you back the jacket.
i can also give you some nice clothes i bought a few years before i went back into transition and basically never wore. there's a business suit from moore's in there, and some other stuff.
j
To: sister’s email address
ok. so, i've thought about this...
i'm just going to ask you to think about a few things before i offer it back.
first, i like the jacket. it fits well with my beatnik style; it would look good with blonde hair and a bit of red lipstick. he gave it to me, but that's sort of not factoring into my thought patterns (other than that he gave it to me - he owned, he gave it to me, therefore it's mine). if you really, really want it, though....well, ok. just let me run a few algorithms through your brain first.
i haven't worn it yet. i was thinking it would be good for the fall, but in truth i usually wear sweaters in the fall rather than jackets. so i wasn't sure i would wear it. it's a little heavier than i thought, though - still too light for an ottawa winter, but maybe just about perfect for a windsor one.
so, if i give you this jacket back, recognize that i'm giving you back a really nice winter jacket that looks good on me and that i can't afford to replace. it's not sentimental from my perspective, it's functional. this is something i'd benefit from hanging on to.
1) do you want the jacket for your kid? that seems to be what you're getting at - his grandfather's jacket. ok. i'm willing to give it back on that basis. HOWEVER...he never wore this jacket. the pockets aren't even broken. it's not *really* his grandfather's jacket, it's a jacket his mother bought for his grandfather and that his grandfather never wore. if you still think the gesture means something, i'll give it back. but does it really? and is it really more important than me having a nice jacket?
2) if you want it for sentimental value to just hold on to, it's the same sort of thing. it's a jacket he didn't wear. it's going to sit in your closet forever. i think dad would rather i take the jacket and wear it than have it sit in a closet as a keepsake.
3) are you going to wear the jacket yourself? well, then we need to take about who would get the most use out of it. i'm thinking i would wear it as an every day winter coat. would you wear it more often?
4) did you want to give it to your husband? well, that's sweet of you. but, again, it comes down to who needs it and would use it the most. i bet he has lots of nice jackets. and he can buy a new nice jacket whenever he wants. me, not so much...
i know you're claiming ownership of it because you bought it. but, you gave it to him as a gift, at which point you lost ownership of it. he made a conscious choice to give it to me. so, it's now my jacket.
but, that's not important to me. if you're attaching something emotional to the jacket, that's more important than who it technically belongs to. *i don't really believe in property rights*. what i do believe in is the idea that things should be made the most use of. i think the jacket should go to the person ho will make the greater use of it.
that person is either going to be me or the kid.
to break it down to something binary: do you think the reasons you want it for the kid are more important than the reasons i want to keep it? if you can answer with an honest "yes", i'll give you back the jacket.
i can also give you some nice clothes i bought a few years before i went back into transition and basically never wore. there's a business suit from moore's in there, and some other stuff.
j
Re: Coat
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
the jacket is unisex. i've had very similar red jackets that are clearly designed for women...
he gave me the jacket, and i like it. it's pretty sharp looking. i like the black; it looks good with blonde hair and red lipstick. i'm sort of a beatnik. i haven't worn it yet, i was putting it aside as a fall jacket. i was thinking it wouldn't be warm enough for winters in ottawa, but it should be warm enough for winters in windsor.
so, i sort of want to keep it. however...
the thing is i'm not really sure what she wants to do with it, either. if she wants it because of the sentimentality, i'm sympathetic, but i think it's better off being used than sitting in a closet (dad would definitely agree with that). if she wants to wear it, i guess we can talk about that and who thinks they would wear it more (it could be a regular winter jacket for me in windsor). if she wants it for her husband, i'm not sympathetic at all. he makes enough money to buy his own clothes. i don't. i mean, by giving it back, i'm giving up something that is very functional - a nice winter jacket that i'm not likely to be able to replace.
now, about that voucher. i don't want to fight about it, i just need to be able to plan accordingly. when we were in the bedroom the other day, you told me you had a voucher at sears and i could have it to get a couch. you didn't say how much it was. i was surprised and appreciative, but said something along the lines of that i'd take it in case i needed it for something else but i could probably just get some couches on the curb. as it turns out, i need at least a fridge (i'm still not sure if i need a stove or not). fridges are the kind of thing i'd rather get new, if i can. now, it's your voucher, so you get to decide what to do with it, but i just need to know if i can plan around that or not.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
the jacket is unisex. i've had very similar red jackets that are clearly designed for women...
he gave me the jacket, and i like it. it's pretty sharp looking. i like the black; it looks good with blonde hair and red lipstick. i'm sort of a beatnik. i haven't worn it yet, i was putting it aside as a fall jacket. i was thinking it wouldn't be warm enough for winters in ottawa, but it should be warm enough for winters in windsor.
so, i sort of want to keep it. however...
the thing is i'm not really sure what she wants to do with it, either. if she wants it because of the sentimentality, i'm sympathetic, but i think it's better off being used than sitting in a closet (dad would definitely agree with that). if she wants to wear it, i guess we can talk about that and who thinks they would wear it more (it could be a regular winter jacket for me in windsor). if she wants it for her husband, i'm not sympathetic at all. he makes enough money to buy his own clothes. i don't. i mean, by giving it back, i'm giving up something that is very functional - a nice winter jacket that i'm not likely to be able to replace.
now, about that voucher. i don't want to fight about it, i just need to be able to plan accordingly. when we were in the bedroom the other day, you told me you had a voucher at sears and i could have it to get a couch. you didn't say how much it was. i was surprised and appreciative, but said something along the lines of that i'd take it in case i needed it for something else but i could probably just get some couches on the curb. as it turns out, i need at least a fridge (i'm still not sure if i need a stove or not). fridges are the kind of thing i'd rather get new, if i can. now, it's your voucher, so you get to decide what to do with it, but i just need to know if i can plan around that or not.
j
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
there's no way that odsp will cover a ticket, though. i'll look around a little bit and explore a bunch of different options and let you know what the best thing to do is.
nana pointed out that there are ways to rent just a space in a big rig and that it's a lot cheaper. u-haul has a page for 'truck sharing'. that would avoid the need for a driver and avoid the need to pay gas. hopefully, that works out...
i'll send her a polite email about the voucher, but if i can keep moving as cheap as possible it will give me more cash for those appliances.
To: sister’s email address
there's no way that odsp will cover a ticket, though. i'll look around a little bit and explore a bunch of different options and let you know what the best thing to do is.
nana pointed out that there are ways to rent just a space in a big rig and that it's a lot cheaper. u-haul has a page for 'truck sharing'. that would avoid the need for a driver and avoid the need to pay gas. hopefully, that works out...
i'll send her a polite email about the voucher, but if i can keep moving as cheap as possible it will give me more cash for those appliances.
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
You should call budget rental and get a price estimate, because I cannot get one online as the cargo vans are request only. There is a budget on Somerset. When you call, ask about NOT returning it to the same location; it might be cheaper for you to send your driver home on the bus or whatever.
I don't know what a flat fee is for that, but regardless you need a fully licensed, +25 driver, with a valid credit card, to rent it and drive it there and back. Gas for a vehicle that size is about 20L/100km on average on the highway, so for 1600km you're looking at about $435 for gas with the gas at $1.35/L in addition to the rental price.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
You should call budget rental and get a price estimate, because I cannot get one online as the cargo vans are request only. There is a budget on Somerset. When you call, ask about NOT returning it to the same location; it might be cheaper for you to send your driver home on the bus or whatever.
I don't know what a flat fee is for that, but regardless you need a fully licensed, +25 driver, with a valid credit card, to rent it and drive it there and back. Gas for a vehicle that size is about 20L/100km on average on the highway, so for 1600km you're looking at about $435 for gas with the gas at $1.35/L in addition to the rental price.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
argh. she said she had a sears voucher she'd give me.
like i say, i'm hoping i can get something at a flat fee + gas. even if the flat fee is $500, that's still way cheaper. i just need to know what size i should be looking for.
To: sister’s email address
argh. she said she had a sears voucher she'd give me.
like i say, i'm hoping i can get something at a flat fee + gas. even if the flat fee is $500, that's still way cheaper. i just need to know what size i should be looking for.
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Yes, I would like the coat please. Given that I am pregnant with a boy, it would be nice to have.
the stepmother has no idea what couch vouchers you are referring to. Maybe email her directly about that.
As for a fridge and stove, buy a used set when you get there, it will be much cheaper and easier. We got our in Petawawa for $150 for the set, and they have never failed.
Moving your stuff would most likely fit in a cargo/panel van, because you have no furniture to move. You'd just have to pack it well
That does not include the 1600km to get the van there and back at 0.49 per kilometre, plus gas. You also require someone over 25 with a full G class license, and most likely a valid credit card for the loss damage waiver. Altogether this will be at least $1100 and that requires you to move your own stuff. There is the option of leaving the van in Windsor and thereby saving the return 800km, but they charge exhorbotent fees for that, and many van rental outlets won't even do it because they are franchised and the trucks belong to them.
All the funeral arrangements have been taken care of. No need to worry about that.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Yes, I would like the coat please. Given that I am pregnant with a boy, it would be nice to have.
the stepmother has no idea what couch vouchers you are referring to. Maybe email her directly about that.
As for a fridge and stove, buy a used set when you get there, it will be much cheaper and easier. We got our in Petawawa for $150 for the set, and they have never failed.
Moving your stuff would most likely fit in a cargo/panel van, because you have no furniture to move. You'd just have to pack it well
That does not include the 1600km to get the van there and back at 0.49 per kilometre, plus gas. You also require someone over 25 with a full G class license, and most likely a valid credit card for the loss damage waiver. Altogether this will be at least $1100 and that requires you to move your own stuff. There is the option of leaving the van in Windsor and thereby saving the return 800km, but they charge exhorbotent fees for that, and many van rental outlets won't even do it because they are franchised and the trucks belong to them.
All the funeral arrangements have been taken care of. No need to worry about that.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
...plus, if the dollars don't add up, i could always get a bar fridge, instead. it's not like i keep a full fridge. i'm the type that would rather get a few things i need for a few days at a time than get big shopping orders once a month.
To: sister’s email address
...plus, if the dollars don't add up, i could always get a bar fridge, instead. it's not like i keep a full fridge. i'm the type that would rather get a few things i need for a few days at a time than get big shopping orders once a month.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
it's mostly the fridge. if it's almost enough for a cheap fridge, i can use the microwave. see, there's a discarded fridge and stove down there, but the fridge is useless. he said the stove is ok...
that probably sounds like a sketchy landlord. i don't think so. seems extremely fair, actually. drove me around town for a bit, even. really, he just didn't want to be responsible for replacing the appliances. seems like a standard rental thing, sure, but considering that this place would run for around $1200 + utilities in ottawa, and i'm getting it for $650 all inclusive in windsor, the profit margin on the rent is a lot lower. it's a bit of a shift in mindset: in windsor, property owners need to budget carefully, too. and, to be honest, that's fine with me, anyways. having a fridge and a stove is probably a benefit to me in the long run.
j
To: sister’s email address
it's mostly the fridge. if it's almost enough for a cheap fridge, i can use the microwave. see, there's a discarded fridge and stove down there, but the fridge is useless. he said the stove is ok...
that probably sounds like a sketchy landlord. i don't think so. seems extremely fair, actually. drove me around town for a bit, even. really, he just didn't want to be responsible for replacing the appliances. seems like a standard rental thing, sure, but considering that this place would run for around $1200 + utilities in ottawa, and i'm getting it for $650 all inclusive in windsor, the profit margin on the rent is a lot lower. it's a bit of a shift in mindset: in windsor, property owners need to budget carefully, too. and, to be honest, that's fine with me, anyways. having a fridge and a stove is probably a benefit to me in the long run.
j
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
well, i was sitting with the surviving uncle, the oldest aunt and his mother when he gave it to me if you want witnesses. if you really want it back, i dunno. let me try it on again and think about it. it kind of fits me perfectly, but i'm honestly not sure how often i'd wear it, if at all. if you think you'd make better use of it...
excluding the stuff i'm taking to windsor, i think the only thing i'd ask is that i get first crack on the records and cds. there's quite a few in there that have been important to me over my life.
i'm a little skeptical about sending her an email right now, but i'm in town and can help plan. so let me know if there's anything i can do.
also, she had said something about giving me a sears voucher for couches. i can pick up some couches somewhere for free and am fine with doing that, but the place doesn't have a fridge or a stove. that voucher was factored into the decision to get the place, i just hope it's close to enough. i'm happy with the cheapest fridge and stove on the market....don't need fancy ice makers and timers and stuff...
i have the keys and the lease here. i can move in whenever, i just have to call ahead to let them know when. you know how italians traditionally have two kitchens, one in the basement? well, it's sort of like that, except with a separate entrance downstairs. recently renovated - very nice fancy italian stuff with the big half circle separating the living room from the kitchen. two bedrooms. nice bathroom.
what i want to find is somebody that will just rent a van for three days at a flat rate + gas. i don't know if i can do that, though. i think mom might be willing to drive and stay the night (she's talked about wanting to go down there ever since i told her).
esa has a room in a house lined up. i've offered space, and am not sure if she's going to take it in the end or not. but it should be a very small amount of stuff, as well. some string instruments, a keyboard, clothes...
the amount of things here i'd add is negligible. the stepmother’s a moving pro. can you ask her to tell me what size of van i'd need to fit my stuff in so i can look for that?
the last thing i need to do is go down to odsp tomorrow and have a chat.
j
To: sister’s email address
well, i was sitting with the surviving uncle, the oldest aunt and his mother when he gave it to me if you want witnesses. if you really want it back, i dunno. let me try it on again and think about it. it kind of fits me perfectly, but i'm honestly not sure how often i'd wear it, if at all. if you think you'd make better use of it...
excluding the stuff i'm taking to windsor, i think the only thing i'd ask is that i get first crack on the records and cds. there's quite a few in there that have been important to me over my life.
i'm a little skeptical about sending her an email right now, but i'm in town and can help plan. so let me know if there's anything i can do.
also, she had said something about giving me a sears voucher for couches. i can pick up some couches somewhere for free and am fine with doing that, but the place doesn't have a fridge or a stove. that voucher was factored into the decision to get the place, i just hope it's close to enough. i'm happy with the cheapest fridge and stove on the market....don't need fancy ice makers and timers and stuff...
i have the keys and the lease here. i can move in whenever, i just have to call ahead to let them know when. you know how italians traditionally have two kitchens, one in the basement? well, it's sort of like that, except with a separate entrance downstairs. recently renovated - very nice fancy italian stuff with the big half circle separating the living room from the kitchen. two bedrooms. nice bathroom.
what i want to find is somebody that will just rent a van for three days at a flat rate + gas. i don't know if i can do that, though. i think mom might be willing to drive and stay the night (she's talked about wanting to go down there ever since i told her).
esa has a room in a house lined up. i've offered space, and am not sure if she's going to take it in the end or not. but it should be a very small amount of stuff, as well. some string instruments, a keyboard, clothes...
the amount of things here i'd add is negligible. the stepmother’s a moving pro. can you ask her to tell me what size of van i'd need to fit my stuff in so i can look for that?
the last thing i need to do is go down to odsp tomorrow and have a chat.
j
Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I would really appreciate it if you would return this coat to your sister. She did buy it for her father as a Christmas present. As well it is a man’s coat so I am not sure why you want it anyway.
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I would really appreciate it if you would return this coat to your sister. She did buy it for her father as a Christmas present. As well it is a man’s coat so I am not sure why you want it anyway.
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
No he didn't, and I bought it for him and want it back. Please bring it.
Should we expect you on Thursday? Have you signed a lease in Windsor?
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
No he didn't, and I bought it for him and want it back. Please bring it.
Should we expect you on Thursday? Have you signed a lease in Windsor?
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
he didn't lend it to me, he gave it to me. sorry.
To: sister’s email address
he didn't lend it to me, he gave it to me. sorry.
Monday, July 29, 2013
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Can you please bring me the black Moore's overcoat back that Dad lent you? I would like it.
To Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Can you please bring me the black Moore's overcoat back that Dad lent you? I would like it.
so, it's official: i'm moving to windsor. lease signed, first/last down, receipt received, keys in pocket.
i'll be leaving some time next week.
i got the place i wanted, not the one i was an hour away from settling for.
currently at the greyhound station; will take the 5:30 out. should be home in the morning.
now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go fill up a few mountain dew bottles for the ride home...
i'm supposed to be like "don't worry, i'll visit". but that's a lie. i don't celebrate holidays. i'm not going home for christmas. most of you are never going to see me face to face again, unless you come here or we meet in some third location. i'm not going to throw any kind of party, but if you want to say goodbye, or you always wanted to kick my ass, then you've got a few days to get in touch.
i'll be leaving some time next week.
i got the place i wanted, not the one i was an hour away from settling for.
currently at the greyhound station; will take the 5:30 out. should be home in the morning.
now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go fill up a few mountain dew bottles for the ride home...
i'm supposed to be like "don't worry, i'll visit". but that's a lie. i don't celebrate holidays. i'm not going home for christmas. most of you are never going to see me face to face again, unless you come here or we meet in some third location. i'm not going to throw any kind of party, but if you want to say goodbye, or you always wanted to kick my ass, then you've got a few days to get in touch.
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
i got the one i wanted, which is $650 all inclusive and fucking beautiful.
the stepmother wired me $1600. the sister has the $1500 mom gave her, and she's going to use it to help me move.
i’m taking the 5:30 bus and will be home early in the morning.
j
To: grandmother’s email address
i got the one i wanted, which is $650 all inclusive and fucking beautiful.
the stepmother wired me $1600. the sister has the $1500 mom gave her, and she's going to use it to help me move.
i’m taking the 5:30 bus and will be home early in the morning.
j
Re: i'm in windsor
From: grandmother’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
how is everything going now?did you get the apt? Did your sister say the money was from your step-mother?When are you coming back?Waiting for your Email.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
how is everything going now?did you get the apt? Did your sister say the money was from your step-mother?When are you coming back?Waiting for your Email.
mom
Hope everything works out for you. And I love you very much! I wish I wasn't so drunk when I saw your sister last night...I hardly ever see her and just wish I would have been sober.
You can't claim anything by the way with Disability ...The cut out the moving allowance.
They
I have to get some better glasses...The ones I have are crap!
Be very careful what you disclose to them!
My advice is to NOT TELL THEM MUCH...Except J...They are going to know!...Because they have access to your bank account!
They can be real fuckers!
Remember when you lived with me? I had to pay all this large amount of money back....They took it off monthly....It just stopped last month!...I finally don't owe them any money anymore.
Of course apparently I owed them thousands from before you were living with me too.
They don't let you get away with ANYTHING!
I think if it is an inheritance....You are OK with it.....I think your stepmother may have to give a letter or something.....Tell her to include mine in there as well...
Jessica Amber Murray
i can claim up to a certain amount as a gift, not an inheritance. that's my plan. the moving allowance is still on the web site, but it's 'discretionary’.
Hope everything works out for you. And I love you very much! I wish I wasn't so drunk when I saw your sister last night...I hardly ever see her and just wish I would have been sober.
You can't claim anything by the way with Disability ...The cut out the moving allowance.
They
I have to get some better glasses...The ones I have are crap!
Be very careful what you disclose to them!
My advice is to NOT TELL THEM MUCH...Except J...They are going to know!...Because they have access to your bank account!
They can be real fuckers!
Remember when you lived with me? I had to pay all this large amount of money back....They took it off monthly....It just stopped last month!...I finally don't owe them any money anymore.
Of course apparently I owed them thousands from before you were living with me too.
They don't let you get away with ANYTHING!
I think if it is an inheritance....You are OK with it.....I think your stepmother may have to give a letter or something.....Tell her to include mine in there as well...
Jessica Amber Murray
i can claim up to a certain amount as a gift, not an inheritance. that's my plan. the moving allowance is still on the web site, but it's 'discretionary’.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
yeah. i've been in sort of a daze. i don't know. i had a big cry in the bathroom here, did a lot of dramatic writing. i'm kind of not sure if it hasn't hit me yet or if i'd already dealt with it before it happened. it's clicking, but it's not entirely clicking.
i'm sort of struggling with what to write here. i haven't slept much in the last week. but my facebook page is sort of like a journal, and i think if sorting through the last week (scroll down to mid july) is the best way for me to explain what i've been feeling.
To: sister’s email address
yeah. i've been in sort of a daze. i don't know. i had a big cry in the bathroom here, did a lot of dramatic writing. i'm kind of not sure if it hasn't hit me yet or if i'd already dealt with it before it happened. it's clicking, but it's not entirely clicking.
i'm sort of struggling with what to write here. i haven't slept much in the last week. but my facebook page is sort of like a journal, and i think if sorting through the last week (scroll down to mid july) is the best way for me to explain what i've been feeling.
bitch better have my money (or what happens when you realize you gave away $1500 while blackout drunk)
mom
J....Did You Get Your Money?....
J..Did you get your momey!????????????????
Jessica Amber Murray
in the end, the stepmother wired 1600. so the sister still has the 1500. she's going to hang on to some of it for moving costs and then give the rest back to you. i can claim some of the moving costs after (it's 'discretionary').
mom
Please tell me whether you got it or not?????????!!!!!! I gave it to your sister.
Jessica Amber Murray
yup, the sister still has it. the 1600 from my stepmother went through and that should cover what i need for the moment.
mom
She was supposed to have given it to you!
Jessica Amber Murray
i agree with her decision. it was an emergency replacement amount. in the end, the stepmother agreed to wire it. so, i don't need it right now. i *will* need it in a week or two when i move, and i can use it for that.
mom
I gave her $1500.....................!!
To give to you!
Jessica Amber Murray
i will get the $1500, soon! moving a big truck of stuff from windsor is extremely expensive. it might cost close to $1000.
mom
You Are BOTH A BUNCH OF LIARSQ.................................................................................L
LIARS!....................
Thanks a lot.
Jessica Amber Murray
i wasn't expecting the stepmother to transfer, but i guess she clued in when my sister left that i was serious. i'm definitely not lying. if you want, i can tell her to give it back.
i really, really appreciate that you were willing to lend or give me the cash at all. but the original plan worked out in the end. it probably worked out *because* the sister agreed to the whole thing. so, thank you even for that.
mom
Hey!,,,,I just gave you $1500.00 dollars...Are you unaware of this fact?
Jessica Amber Murray
i am keenly aware of this fact.
mom
Who gave you more?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, she gave me 1600.
mom
You are an ASSHOLE!
YOU USE PEOPLE FOR YOUR OWN PURPOSES!
Jessica Amber Murray
do you honestly believe that i set up an elaborate plan to trick my own mother into giving me $1500? c'mon.
mom
I am ENRAGED AT YOU!
Jessica Amber Murray
well, do you want the cash back?
mom
NO.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. then i don't know why you're mad....?
mom
But you could have been more honest about it.
Anyways...Love You....
Going to sleep now...
J....Did You Get Your Money?....
J..Did you get your momey!????????????????
Jessica Amber Murray
in the end, the stepmother wired 1600. so the sister still has the 1500. she's going to hang on to some of it for moving costs and then give the rest back to you. i can claim some of the moving costs after (it's 'discretionary').
mom
Please tell me whether you got it or not?????????!!!!!! I gave it to your sister.
Jessica Amber Murray
yup, the sister still has it. the 1600 from my stepmother went through and that should cover what i need for the moment.
mom
She was supposed to have given it to you!
Jessica Amber Murray
i agree with her decision. it was an emergency replacement amount. in the end, the stepmother agreed to wire it. so, i don't need it right now. i *will* need it in a week or two when i move, and i can use it for that.
mom
I gave her $1500.....................!!
To give to you!
Jessica Amber Murray
i will get the $1500, soon! moving a big truck of stuff from windsor is extremely expensive. it might cost close to $1000.
mom
You Are BOTH A BUNCH OF LIARSQ.................................................................................L
LIARS!....................
Thanks a lot.
Jessica Amber Murray
i wasn't expecting the stepmother to transfer, but i guess she clued in when my sister left that i was serious. i'm definitely not lying. if you want, i can tell her to give it back.
i really, really appreciate that you were willing to lend or give me the cash at all. but the original plan worked out in the end. it probably worked out *because* the sister agreed to the whole thing. so, thank you even for that.
mom
Hey!,,,,I just gave you $1500.00 dollars...Are you unaware of this fact?
Jessica Amber Murray
i am keenly aware of this fact.
mom
Who gave you more?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, she gave me 1600.
mom
You are an ASSHOLE!
YOU USE PEOPLE FOR YOUR OWN PURPOSES!
Jessica Amber Murray
do you honestly believe that i set up an elaborate plan to trick my own mother into giving me $1500? c'mon.
mom
I am ENRAGED AT YOU!
Jessica Amber Murray
well, do you want the cash back?
mom
NO.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. then i don't know why you're mad....?
mom
But you could have been more honest about it.
Anyways...Love You....
Going to sleep now...
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: J <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
i hope you are feeling alright. i have had a very long day. i'm sure you miss dad too.
To: J <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
i hope you are feeling alright. i have had a very long day. i'm sure you miss dad too.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
ok, i misunderstood your facebook messages; when you said 'she', i thought you meant the stepmother. i thought nana was going to wire money from mom.
i spent all day flipping out that i was going to go home with nothing and in the end i got three transfer options.
yeah. hang on to it, please. and just give what's left back. i don't need to double on this.
i don't know how much of the moving costs i can claim through odsp after. it's 'discretionary'. i'm also trying to figure out if i'm helping esa move as well. seems silly to go down in two trucks if it would fit in one.
i'll get that info to you soon.
j
To: sister’s email address
ok, i misunderstood your facebook messages; when you said 'she', i thought you meant the stepmother. i thought nana was going to wire money from mom.
i spent all day flipping out that i was going to go home with nothing and in the end i got three transfer options.
yeah. hang on to it, please. and just give what's left back. i don't need to double on this.
i don't know how much of the moving costs i can claim through odsp after. it's 'discretionary'. i'm also trying to figure out if i'm helping esa move as well. seems silly to go down in two trucks if it would fit in one.
i'll get that info to you soon.
j
i'm still in that same tim horton's. it's been about 30 hours, now, stuck here.
i'll dream about this place for the next twenty years as an archetype of purgatory. i'm going to avoid this line of thought. of course, i'm not actually avoiding it, i'm just avoiding typing about it.
really, the day has essentially been spent trying to find a means of escape from this place. i can't count how many bagels i've eaten, or how many times i've brushed the coffee off my teeth, or how many conversations i've overheard (oh, that's just a weird way of saying palisher), or how many plans i've created that twirl through obstacle courses with incomprehensibly frustrating and entirely unpredictable twists before they come out as dead ends. what i mean to take 3 hours took 30, but it's done.
midnight is too late to check in anywhere. it's raining. it's even kind of chilly out.
....but i'll be out of this place of absurdity the second i see the first ray of sunshine come up, and very much ready to start something entirely new.
i'll dream about this place for the next twenty years as an archetype of purgatory. i'm going to avoid this line of thought. of course, i'm not actually avoiding it, i'm just avoiding typing about it.
really, the day has essentially been spent trying to find a means of escape from this place. i can't count how many bagels i've eaten, or how many times i've brushed the coffee off my teeth, or how many conversations i've overheard (oh, that's just a weird way of saying palisher), or how many plans i've created that twirl through obstacle courses with incomprehensibly frustrating and entirely unpredictable twists before they come out as dead ends. what i mean to take 3 hours took 30, but it's done.
midnight is too late to check in anywhere. it's raining. it's even kind of chilly out.
....but i'll be out of this place of absurdity the second i see the first ray of sunshine come up, and very much ready to start something entirely new.
money
From: sister’s email address
To: J <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I just got back and the stepmother is telling me she just transferred $1600 to you. Use that money for your first and last's month rent, and your bus ticket.
The money mom gave me to deposit was to be used for your first and last month's rent. It feels disingenuous to just transfer it without her knowing that you already have that taken care of now, however it should now be used to pay for the cost of moving your belongings to Windsor. We can arrange for movers as soon as you have an address. If there's any leftover I will transfer it to you.
Let me know your address when the lease is signed tomorrow.
To: J <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I just got back and the stepmother is telling me she just transferred $1600 to you. Use that money for your first and last's month rent, and your bus ticket.
The money mom gave me to deposit was to be used for your first and last month's rent. It feels disingenuous to just transfer it without her knowing that you already have that taken care of now, however it should now be used to pay for the cost of moving your belongings to Windsor. We can arrange for movers as soon as you have an address. If there's any leftover I will transfer it to you.
Let me know your address when the lease is signed tomorrow.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
actually, she sent it over email.
it's done.
no need to transfer.
sorry for waking you up early.
To: grandmother’s email address
actually, she sent it over email.
it's done.
no need to transfer.
sorry for waking you up early.
INTERAC e-Transfer
From: <notify@payments.interac.ca>
To: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Re: Rent
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm planning to get the keys for august 1st, so it should be gone by september 1st.
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm planning to get the keys for august 1st, so it should be gone by september 1st.
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
i think you should probably ignore most of this. i was very frustrated and basically talking nonsense.
she claims she's going to wire a little after all, through my sister. around $1600. the money from my stepmother is a gift from my father and wouldn't need to be repaid. i'd appreciate it if you went ahead with the $2000 anyways, and i'll pay back whatever is extra (i'll just transfer it back). if everything works out, i should be able to transfer it as soon as i get back to ottawa. but i don't really want to rely on her. i trust my sister - in this context. but the stepmother has really burned those bridges.
like i say, if both go through, i'll just give it back immediately. but if the stepmother’s doesn't come through, and you don't do it, i'm really profoundly screwed.
the important information is the transfer information. just please send me off an email in the morning.
To: grandmother’s email address
i think you should probably ignore most of this. i was very frustrated and basically talking nonsense.
she claims she's going to wire a little after all, through my sister. around $1600. the money from my stepmother is a gift from my father and wouldn't need to be repaid. i'd appreciate it if you went ahead with the $2000 anyways, and i'll pay back whatever is extra (i'll just transfer it back). if everything works out, i should be able to transfer it as soon as i get back to ottawa. but i don't really want to rely on her. i trust my sister - in this context. but the stepmother has really burned those bridges.
like i say, if both go through, i'll just give it back immediately. but if the stepmother’s doesn't come through, and you don't do it, i'm really profoundly screwed.
the important information is the transfer information. just please send me off an email in the morning.
intervention
mom
Geesh!...My Love....I hate that this on facebook in any shape or form.
Jessica Amber Murray
i called nana again. she says she'll do it. you're probably on the phone with her right now.
mom
what did she say?
i'm not on the phone with anyone
Jessica Amber Murray
she said she'd call you and that she'll transfer the money in the morning.
mom
like i'm going to pay her back then?
or she's just going to give it to you?
Jessica Amber Murray
i think she was expecting you'd give it to her. i'm planning on paying you back either way, so it's sort of up to you guys to talk about. just let me know who i'm paying back :)
sister via mom’s facebook account
This is your sister. I will send you an email interac transfer when I get home. I will send $1500, and she will give me the cash. That is how much she can give you right now.
As you can imagine, I don't feel as though I'm being a selfish bitch for not responding to emails every five minute right now. I was up all night the last three nights in a row, and needed to get some sleep today.
Anyway, hopefully that is enough for you to both get the place you want and get a bus back in time for Thursday.
She is yelling about how you better not be spending it on drugs.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i just got back from a pay phone and see that she sent me an email saying essentially as much. in the sense that i was over-reacting, i apologize; to be oppressively logical, as i so often am, the fact is that you did actually respond, so the premise that you weren’t going to is flawed and the conclusion that would have followed had you not responded does not follow now that you have. that said, you can imagine i'm not feeling the grandest at the moment, either. i don't do drugs...
ask her to use death.to.koalas@gmail.com.
sister via mom’s facebook account
Ok, anyway, with regards to the bus ticket, the web fare for greyhound is WAY cheaper than you walking in an buying a ticket.
I suggest you use an online bank transfer for it through the greyhound website.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. it's cheaper if you buy more than three days in advance, too. i'm just not sure what the best day to go is yet. i may be here until wednesday morning, even. i'll figure this out tomorrow afternoon.
sister via mom’s facebook account
Ok, I HAVE to get out of here right now, as you can imagine.
I'll email you when I get home / at Dad's.
Geesh!...My Love....I hate that this on facebook in any shape or form.
Jessica Amber Murray
i called nana again. she says she'll do it. you're probably on the phone with her right now.
mom
what did she say?
i'm not on the phone with anyone
Jessica Amber Murray
she said she'd call you and that she'll transfer the money in the morning.
mom
like i'm going to pay her back then?
or she's just going to give it to you?
Jessica Amber Murray
i think she was expecting you'd give it to her. i'm planning on paying you back either way, so it's sort of up to you guys to talk about. just let me know who i'm paying back :)
sister via mom’s facebook account
This is your sister. I will send you an email interac transfer when I get home. I will send $1500, and she will give me the cash. That is how much she can give you right now.
As you can imagine, I don't feel as though I'm being a selfish bitch for not responding to emails every five minute right now. I was up all night the last three nights in a row, and needed to get some sleep today.
Anyway, hopefully that is enough for you to both get the place you want and get a bus back in time for Thursday.
She is yelling about how you better not be spending it on drugs.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i just got back from a pay phone and see that she sent me an email saying essentially as much. in the sense that i was over-reacting, i apologize; to be oppressively logical, as i so often am, the fact is that you did actually respond, so the premise that you weren’t going to is flawed and the conclusion that would have followed had you not responded does not follow now that you have. that said, you can imagine i'm not feeling the grandest at the moment, either. i don't do drugs...
ask her to use death.to.koalas@gmail.com.
sister via mom’s facebook account
Ok, anyway, with regards to the bus ticket, the web fare for greyhound is WAY cheaper than you walking in an buying a ticket.
I suggest you use an online bank transfer for it through the greyhound website.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. it's cheaper if you buy more than three days in advance, too. i'm just not sure what the best day to go is yet. i may be here until wednesday morning, even. i'll figure this out tomorrow afternoon.
sister via mom’s facebook account
Ok, I HAVE to get out of here right now, as you can imagine.
I'll email you when I get home / at Dad's.
Rent
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I will deposit $1600 in your account tomorrow to cover your first and last month’s rent and a bus ticket if you choose to attend your father’s funeral. That will be all the money you will ever receive from me. I will be putting this house up for sale so you will have to move your stuff elsewhere within the next month.
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I will deposit $1600 in your account tomorrow to cover your first and last month’s rent and a bus ticket if you choose to attend your father’s funeral. That will be all the money you will ever receive from me. I will be putting this house up for sale so you will have to move your stuff elsewhere within the next month.
mom
J...The only way I can wire you some money is if I hook up my account to yours.... I cannot compromise myself like that!.... I am only allowed a certain amount of money!....I have it here for you...If someone else could come and pick it up and deliver it to you....I know!...Rather UseLess!
Jessica Amber Murray
i agree. hopefully, my sister responds soon, or nana does. i may be here longer than i wanted to be, then. such is life, i suppose.
mom
If one of them wants to the technical crap required.... I am good for the cash!.....
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'll let them know.
mom
I can just pay them back.
J...The only way I can wire you some money is if I hook up my account to yours.... I cannot compromise myself like that!.... I am only allowed a certain amount of money!....I have it here for you...If someone else could come and pick it up and deliver it to you....I know!...Rather UseLess!
Jessica Amber Murray
i agree. hopefully, my sister responds soon, or nana does. i may be here longer than i wanted to be, then. such is life, i suppose.
mom
If one of them wants to the technical crap required.... I am good for the cash!.....
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'll let them know.
mom
I can just pay them back.
Jessica Amber Murray
seems like my mom saved the day, and then some. not going to be here until the morning, though.
ESA
Wait.... youre coming to ottawa?
Jessica Amber Murray
no, she's going to compensate for the lost wire transfer, hopefully short term. now i just have to hope today was a bad day and tomorrow is a good day and i get the one i want.
seems like my mom saved the day, and then some. not going to be here until the morning, though.
ESA
Wait.... youre coming to ottawa?
Jessica Amber Murray
no, she's going to compensate for the lost wire transfer, hopefully short term. now i just have to hope today was a bad day and tomorrow is a good day and i get the one i want.
too drunk to go outside
mom
J...Do you really think in the midst of highly emotional pain that either one of us is a priority??....She is ignoring me too.
Jessica Amber Murray
i sure hope we are. we're alive. he's dead. it's not like he got hit by a train. he's been mentally retarded for months. as an individual, bob died some time in the spring. he's been a shell ever since. he was living a horrible, painful existence. this is a release from agony. it should be a celebration, really. i don't expect either of them to really get that. but to suggest that i should go starve so they can mourn over somebody who's been dying a horrific, slow, painful death for the last two years is just ridiculous.
i would have pushed for euthanasia weeks ago. it would have been the humane thing to do.
mom
I hear you J....But your sister is devastated...I don't know how to approach her right now? We have to remember that she is with a precious child!....I really don't want to stress her out any more right now.
Jessica Amber Murray
sitting on the computer for five minutes to help her sibling carry through with a universally understood plan that was in fact already budgeted for via a request that was entirely expected for days shouldn't be a stressful occurrence. if she can't do that for me, fuck her. selfish bitch.
i don't really have much patience for any of them anymore. they're all a bunch of self-absorbed assholes.
mom
I know exactly your aggressive feeling right now!....
Jessica Amber Murray
it's not aggression, it's frustration. i'm not asking for her to drive out to get me. i'm asking for her to check her email, respond with whether she can help or not and, if she can, help. it's not going to interfere with whatever she's doing. seems like all i can do is go into odsp tomorrow and ask if they have any kind of advance system for rent. if they don't, i'm not giving up the apartment to go cry with a bunch of people that clearly don't give a fuck about me. i'll mourn on my own. i don't need a fucking parade. fuck them.
there's no rational way to interpret this than that nobody cares. i'm sorry; it's the only way to parse it.
why should i give a fuck about somebody that can't be fucking bothered to take five minutes to answer an email? this isn't the first time i've had to deal with this self-absorbed, myopic fucking me-me-me attitude. it's despicable, really.
mom
OK!...How can I help? There is a money thinggy down the street from me.
Jessica Amber Murray
what is it, exactly? a western union?
mom
I thinks so
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm not sure. i've never used it before. it might even be closed. let me google quickly.
mom
What do i do?
Jessica Amber Murray
two minutes, i'll check.
mom
K
Jessica Amber Murray
wait. are you sober enough to walk out of the house with a lot of money and feel safe?
mom
Well... I guess I could be...But have to fix my face!LOL
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, well that's the least of my concerns.
mom
Where do I go?
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. first, can you call this number and see if they're open: ***********. it's an "ez cash" down montreal road. there's a money mart that's closer but i don't think they do wires.
there may be a $20 charge, but just take it out of whatever you're wiring, that's fine.
mom
SO THEN..If they don't do wires(which I am suspect about)...How do you want me to send?
K...got your information. Will do my best K
Jessica Amber Murray
you wouldn't be able to without using online banking or walking into a bank very early in the morning with the same information i just provided you with. are you comfortable transferring from your bank account? the bank would make you do that. but it's probably safer to wait, if you're comfortable, and can be sure you can be at one at like 8:00.
mom
Is there anyway to do in online?
Jessica Amber Murray
you can do it online, but you have to do it from bank to bank.
at this time of night all the banks are closed, so the money would have to be *in* the bank already. if you're tipsy, stay in, mom.
mom
Only poblem with online is that the money is not in the bank!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. so you can't do it like that. did you call the place? are they open?
mom
No... I have to walk out of here with a shitload of cash.
You know how I look!... I will be a sitting duck!
I will do it tomorrow.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. ok, so that's not a great idea at this time of night on foot, i agree. so, if you walk into a bank and wire it from your account will they track it?
the answer is probably yes.
mom
Not sure how this system works? I was thinking I would just bring my cash in(and of course their eyes will pop out of their heads!(.......And Deal with them accordingly....
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. yeah. maybe bring a friend you trust? and can you just make sure you keep in touch in the morning so i know what's happening?
mom
K... I am not afraid during the dayrtime.
Jessica Amber Murray
alright.
J...Do you really think in the midst of highly emotional pain that either one of us is a priority??....She is ignoring me too.
Jessica Amber Murray
i sure hope we are. we're alive. he's dead. it's not like he got hit by a train. he's been mentally retarded for months. as an individual, bob died some time in the spring. he's been a shell ever since. he was living a horrible, painful existence. this is a release from agony. it should be a celebration, really. i don't expect either of them to really get that. but to suggest that i should go starve so they can mourn over somebody who's been dying a horrific, slow, painful death for the last two years is just ridiculous.
i would have pushed for euthanasia weeks ago. it would have been the humane thing to do.
mom
I hear you J....But your sister is devastated...I don't know how to approach her right now? We have to remember that she is with a precious child!....I really don't want to stress her out any more right now.
Jessica Amber Murray
sitting on the computer for five minutes to help her sibling carry through with a universally understood plan that was in fact already budgeted for via a request that was entirely expected for days shouldn't be a stressful occurrence. if she can't do that for me, fuck her. selfish bitch.
i don't really have much patience for any of them anymore. they're all a bunch of self-absorbed assholes.
mom
I know exactly your aggressive feeling right now!....
Jessica Amber Murray
it's not aggression, it's frustration. i'm not asking for her to drive out to get me. i'm asking for her to check her email, respond with whether she can help or not and, if she can, help. it's not going to interfere with whatever she's doing. seems like all i can do is go into odsp tomorrow and ask if they have any kind of advance system for rent. if they don't, i'm not giving up the apartment to go cry with a bunch of people that clearly don't give a fuck about me. i'll mourn on my own. i don't need a fucking parade. fuck them.
there's no rational way to interpret this than that nobody cares. i'm sorry; it's the only way to parse it.
why should i give a fuck about somebody that can't be fucking bothered to take five minutes to answer an email? this isn't the first time i've had to deal with this self-absorbed, myopic fucking me-me-me attitude. it's despicable, really.
mom
OK!...How can I help? There is a money thinggy down the street from me.
Jessica Amber Murray
what is it, exactly? a western union?
mom
I thinks so
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm not sure. i've never used it before. it might even be closed. let me google quickly.
mom
What do i do?
Jessica Amber Murray
two minutes, i'll check.
mom
K
Jessica Amber Murray
wait. are you sober enough to walk out of the house with a lot of money and feel safe?
mom
Well... I guess I could be...But have to fix my face!LOL
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, well that's the least of my concerns.
mom
Where do I go?
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. first, can you call this number and see if they're open: ***********. it's an "ez cash" down montreal road. there's a money mart that's closer but i don't think they do wires.
there may be a $20 charge, but just take it out of whatever you're wiring, that's fine.
mom
SO THEN..If they don't do wires(which I am suspect about)...How do you want me to send?
K...got your information. Will do my best K
Jessica Amber Murray
you wouldn't be able to without using online banking or walking into a bank very early in the morning with the same information i just provided you with. are you comfortable transferring from your bank account? the bank would make you do that. but it's probably safer to wait, if you're comfortable, and can be sure you can be at one at like 8:00.
mom
Is there anyway to do in online?
Jessica Amber Murray
you can do it online, but you have to do it from bank to bank.
at this time of night all the banks are closed, so the money would have to be *in* the bank already. if you're tipsy, stay in, mom.
mom
Only poblem with online is that the money is not in the bank!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. so you can't do it like that. did you call the place? are they open?
mom
No... I have to walk out of here with a shitload of cash.
You know how I look!... I will be a sitting duck!
I will do it tomorrow.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. ok, so that's not a great idea at this time of night on foot, i agree. so, if you walk into a bank and wire it from your account will they track it?
the answer is probably yes.
mom
Not sure how this system works? I was thinking I would just bring my cash in(and of course their eyes will pop out of their heads!(.......And Deal with them accordingly....
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. yeah. maybe bring a friend you trust? and can you just make sure you keep in touch in the morning so i know what's happening?
mom
K... I am not afraid during the dayrtime.
Jessica Amber Murray
alright.
Re: i need to ask you a favour
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
now she says she wants to give me $3000. i’m not totally taking that seriously, but i could handle borrowing a little more. if i could get a train back and find somewhere to sleep tonight that would sure be nice, though. she’s saying you could even pick it up tonight, if you want.
it all depends on what’s in your account. if you can wire $1500, that would be better. she’ll give it to you when you decide to go get it.
To: sister’s email address
now she says she wants to give me $3000. i’m not totally taking that seriously, but i could handle borrowing a little more. if i could get a train back and find somewhere to sleep tonight that would sure be nice, though. she’s saying you could even pick it up tonight, if you want.
it all depends on what’s in your account. if you can wire $1500, that would be better. she’ll give it to you when you decide to go get it.
she would have promised me a pony if i asked for one
Jessica Amber Murray
it was $1300.
mom
I will give you$3,000.00....
Will that be enough??
Jessica Amber Murray
wow. well, that's a whole lot, mom. that's more than enough.
mom
Well.. Perhaps pay a few months rent with it.
Don't tell disabilty though!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, that would be perfect for that. listen, i'm going to jump offline for two seconds to walk across the street to try and call my sister. i'll be back in a few minutes.
mom
K
Tell her to call me. Or just show up at my door.
Jessica Amber Murray
k. i tried to call collect, and it was blocked. then i tried to call nana collect, and it was blocked. so i spent five dollars on an answering machine message. great. now i have to wait and see how she responds.
it was $1300.
mom
I will give you$3,000.00....
Will that be enough??
Jessica Amber Murray
wow. well, that's a whole lot, mom. that's more than enough.
mom
Well.. Perhaps pay a few months rent with it.
Don't tell disabilty though!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, that would be perfect for that. listen, i'm going to jump offline for two seconds to walk across the street to try and call my sister. i'll be back in a few minutes.
mom
K
Tell her to call me. Or just show up at my door.
Jessica Amber Murray
k. i tried to call collect, and it was blocked. then i tried to call nana collect, and it was blocked. so i spent five dollars on an answering machine message. great. now i have to wait and see how she responds.
i need to ask you a favour
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
mom will lend me the cash, but she won’t wire it. even if i can get a hold of her, i don’t really trust nana to figure out how the computer works.
i assume you do banking online already. if so, sending an email transfer is super easy. if not, setting up an account with your bank will take two minutes. so, i was wondering if you could go pick it up, deposit it into your account and wire it.
now, it’s after 7:00 on a sunday, so if you deposit it into a bank machine, it’s not going to show up for a few days. so, you’d have to already have the cash in there. the places i’m juggling are 600, 650...so i asked to borrow $1300. in order for this to work, you’re going to have to already have $1300 in your account, then go get the $1300 from her and replace it.
honestly, you’d be better off waiting until tomorrow to get the money from mom. first, she’s clearly drunk right now. second, if you give it to a teller it will show up immediately; you won’t have to wait the few days for the machine to process it.
mom is claiming i shouldn’t pay it back, but she’s drunk. i can get her $650 on the first. i think the city will likely give me roughly $500 on top of that. and i am still expecting some money from the stepmother in the near future (she offered me $2000 up front just a few days ago, which is where that number came from).
i have to get this to the guy by tomorrow, otherwise i’m probably coming home with nothing. of course, in that scenario, i’m coming back, likely within a week. now that i know how cheap rent is here in windsor, i’d be a fucking idiot to go back to ottawa where i’m paying twice as much.
so, please let me know if you can do this ASAP.
j
To: sister’s email address
mom will lend me the cash, but she won’t wire it. even if i can get a hold of her, i don’t really trust nana to figure out how the computer works.
i assume you do banking online already. if so, sending an email transfer is super easy. if not, setting up an account with your bank will take two minutes. so, i was wondering if you could go pick it up, deposit it into your account and wire it.
now, it’s after 7:00 on a sunday, so if you deposit it into a bank machine, it’s not going to show up for a few days. so, you’d have to already have the cash in there. the places i’m juggling are 600, 650...so i asked to borrow $1300. in order for this to work, you’re going to have to already have $1300 in your account, then go get the $1300 from her and replace it.
honestly, you’d be better off waiting until tomorrow to get the money from mom. first, she’s clearly drunk right now. second, if you give it to a teller it will show up immediately; you won’t have to wait the few days for the machine to process it.
mom is claiming i shouldn’t pay it back, but she’s drunk. i can get her $650 on the first. i think the city will likely give me roughly $500 on top of that. and i am still expecting some money from the stepmother in the near future (she offered me $2000 up front just a few days ago, which is where that number came from).
i have to get this to the guy by tomorrow, otherwise i’m probably coming home with nothing. of course, in that scenario, i’m coming back, likely within a week. now that i know how cheap rent is here in windsor, i’d be a fucking idiot to go back to ottawa where i’m paying twice as much.
so, please let me know if you can do this ASAP.
j
can you identify somebody being blackout drunk solely via text message?
Jessica Amber Murray
i have a favour to ask. i'll understand if it's impossible, but i'm getting sort of desperate. i came down to windsor looking for a place to stay. the rent down here is very cheap. i've got two offers out for two bedrooms - one is $600 + hydro and is the entire top floor of a house, the other is $650 all inclusive and is a basement apartment that is bigger than any basement i've ever lived in. both would run over $1300 in ottawa. it's literally half price. now, i went down here expecting the following things: 1) that my stepmother would wire me around $400 on or around july 26th. 2) that i would get a lease signed near the end of july. 3) that i could take the lease to odsp, which would upgrade me to the full $1025 rental + basic needs amount. 4) that i would be eligible for some kind of first-and-last rent helper program. i don't know what exists in windsor, but such things do exist in ottawa. it's obviously not possible to place first & last down from a single odsp check, and it's not reasonable to expect any savings from an income that is 60% of the minimum wage. 5) that the $400 + $1025 + helper money would be enough to get first and last down and eat for the month (although not much more). 6) that my dad would still be alive when i got home. what's actually happened is that everybody wants first and last before the first. i didn't think it would the biggest problem. i had a talk with dad and the stepmother last week, where she promised him that she'd take care of me by wiring me some money when i needed it. it was a direct "bob, i promise" sort of thing. she initially offered to give me $2000 cash on the spot, but i was a little skeptical about taking that much at once for a number of reasons. i thought it would be a better idea to wire me small amounts at once. that's where the $400 amount came from. the idea, though, was that they should hold on to the cash until i needed it for something. at the moment, i need it for something, but she's refusing to even wire me the $400. she claims she doesn't have any money, which is of course bullshit. to begin with, she had $2000 to give me last week. it's not a leap of logic to deduce that she just doesn't want to wire me any money. that was a promise to her husband, made on his death bed, and broken in less than 12 hours after his death. i don't know how this is going to work out, but i'm beyond livid. i'm sitting alone in a tim horton's in windsor, and she just doesn't give a fuck. i'm not above suing her and dragging it out as long as possible. i'd probably even take pleasure from seeing her completely ruined and penniless. the hate is hard to quantify. i've been sending out emails to nana all afternoon, with the hope that she'll read them when she gets home from the cottage. i'm not sure that she will. further, i'm not confident that she's going to be able to figure out how to wire it over the internet. i've sent her directions, but she's just so horrible with computers... i asked the stepmother for the $2000 she initially offered me. i asked nana for $1500 to cover first/last rent, a hostel for the night (i can claim this through odsp living expenses) and a ticket home (i didn't want to miss the funeral...but it's been pushed back to thursday, so i should be able to hitch it if i have to, now). i'm going to ask you for just the $1300 for the rent. as for paying it back, i can get $650 back to you immediately on the first of august (out of the 1025...i need to eat...), plus whatever the city gives me tomorrow (i'm thinking it's probably around $500). on top of that, i do expect some money from the stepmother soon, so if the city gives less i can pay it back from there. i know it's a big chunk. and i need it wired here by tomorrow morning. if this is impossible, i understand. if it's not, it might be my last chance to not go home without a place here. (if i do go home without a place, i'd come back for september. there's no possible way i'm paying ottawa prices anymore, not after i've seen the prices down here.)
it could in theory be wired immediately over the internet, and i can help you do that. you'd really just have to set up an internet banking account with your bank.
mom
Yes...I can give your money....
Only thing is ...I can only give in cash.
No.. I am not willing to set up with an internet dumb site!
You have to come to my house and see me in person...
You don't have to pay anything back...It is my gift to you...
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i appreciate the gift, but that won't work. i need to get the downpayment down before i leave windsor. also, i promise we'll go for lunch before i leave. and, yes you can come visit. i was even thinking of maybe asking you to drive the moving van down (i'd pay for it). is your license still suspended? i wonder if i could get my sister to go pick it up and wire the cash. are you in vanier?
mom
Yes.. I am in Vanier. And Yes...My license is valid...
Jessica Amber Murray
if i asked my sister to go pick it up and then set up an internet account (she probably already has one) and then wire it to me would you be ok with that? it's just that the whole point is getting the place. if i go home and get the cash, i'm going to lose the place; if i come back in a few weeks, i probably won't need the cash anymore. and i'll pay you back. i promise that. possibly immediately when i get home (depending on how the odsp thing works out).
mom
Well.. My Love...You wouldn't have to worry about paying me back....Is your sister in town? She would have to pick up my cash then??
Jessica Amber Murray
as far as i know, she's with my stepmother right now. of course, i'll have to ask her. what i need is it wired. if you don't want to wire it, maybe she'll wire it. i mean, i'm in windsor, i can't come get it...
mom
I am immoblized(sp?) right now!.....I can give it to her..If she wants to come here and pick it up??
Jessica Amber Murray
yup, that's what i'm going to ask. it's after 7:00, though, so she wouldn't be able to deposit the money right away. she could maybe come pick it up tomorrow if you'd rather. or maybe she'll just lend it to me herself.
mom
Whatever... I am good for it!
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm sending her an email right now.
mom
K
Ok...How Much?
i have a favour to ask. i'll understand if it's impossible, but i'm getting sort of desperate. i came down to windsor looking for a place to stay. the rent down here is very cheap. i've got two offers out for two bedrooms - one is $600 + hydro and is the entire top floor of a house, the other is $650 all inclusive and is a basement apartment that is bigger than any basement i've ever lived in. both would run over $1300 in ottawa. it's literally half price. now, i went down here expecting the following things: 1) that my stepmother would wire me around $400 on or around july 26th. 2) that i would get a lease signed near the end of july. 3) that i could take the lease to odsp, which would upgrade me to the full $1025 rental + basic needs amount. 4) that i would be eligible for some kind of first-and-last rent helper program. i don't know what exists in windsor, but such things do exist in ottawa. it's obviously not possible to place first & last down from a single odsp check, and it's not reasonable to expect any savings from an income that is 60% of the minimum wage. 5) that the $400 + $1025 + helper money would be enough to get first and last down and eat for the month (although not much more). 6) that my dad would still be alive when i got home. what's actually happened is that everybody wants first and last before the first. i didn't think it would the biggest problem. i had a talk with dad and the stepmother last week, where she promised him that she'd take care of me by wiring me some money when i needed it. it was a direct "bob, i promise" sort of thing. she initially offered to give me $2000 cash on the spot, but i was a little skeptical about taking that much at once for a number of reasons. i thought it would be a better idea to wire me small amounts at once. that's where the $400 amount came from. the idea, though, was that they should hold on to the cash until i needed it for something. at the moment, i need it for something, but she's refusing to even wire me the $400. she claims she doesn't have any money, which is of course bullshit. to begin with, she had $2000 to give me last week. it's not a leap of logic to deduce that she just doesn't want to wire me any money. that was a promise to her husband, made on his death bed, and broken in less than 12 hours after his death. i don't know how this is going to work out, but i'm beyond livid. i'm sitting alone in a tim horton's in windsor, and she just doesn't give a fuck. i'm not above suing her and dragging it out as long as possible. i'd probably even take pleasure from seeing her completely ruined and penniless. the hate is hard to quantify. i've been sending out emails to nana all afternoon, with the hope that she'll read them when she gets home from the cottage. i'm not sure that she will. further, i'm not confident that she's going to be able to figure out how to wire it over the internet. i've sent her directions, but she's just so horrible with computers... i asked the stepmother for the $2000 she initially offered me. i asked nana for $1500 to cover first/last rent, a hostel for the night (i can claim this through odsp living expenses) and a ticket home (i didn't want to miss the funeral...but it's been pushed back to thursday, so i should be able to hitch it if i have to, now). i'm going to ask you for just the $1300 for the rent. as for paying it back, i can get $650 back to you immediately on the first of august (out of the 1025...i need to eat...), plus whatever the city gives me tomorrow (i'm thinking it's probably around $500). on top of that, i do expect some money from the stepmother soon, so if the city gives less i can pay it back from there. i know it's a big chunk. and i need it wired here by tomorrow morning. if this is impossible, i understand. if it's not, it might be my last chance to not go home without a place here. (if i do go home without a place, i'd come back for september. there's no possible way i'm paying ottawa prices anymore, not after i've seen the prices down here.)
it could in theory be wired immediately over the internet, and i can help you do that. you'd really just have to set up an internet banking account with your bank.
mom
Yes...I can give your money....
Only thing is ...I can only give in cash.
No.. I am not willing to set up with an internet dumb site!
You have to come to my house and see me in person...
You don't have to pay anything back...It is my gift to you...
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i appreciate the gift, but that won't work. i need to get the downpayment down before i leave windsor. also, i promise we'll go for lunch before i leave. and, yes you can come visit. i was even thinking of maybe asking you to drive the moving van down (i'd pay for it). is your license still suspended? i wonder if i could get my sister to go pick it up and wire the cash. are you in vanier?
mom
Yes.. I am in Vanier. And Yes...My license is valid...
Jessica Amber Murray
if i asked my sister to go pick it up and then set up an internet account (she probably already has one) and then wire it to me would you be ok with that? it's just that the whole point is getting the place. if i go home and get the cash, i'm going to lose the place; if i come back in a few weeks, i probably won't need the cash anymore. and i'll pay you back. i promise that. possibly immediately when i get home (depending on how the odsp thing works out).
mom
Well.. My Love...You wouldn't have to worry about paying me back....Is your sister in town? She would have to pick up my cash then??
Jessica Amber Murray
as far as i know, she's with my stepmother right now. of course, i'll have to ask her. what i need is it wired. if you don't want to wire it, maybe she'll wire it. i mean, i'm in windsor, i can't come get it...
mom
I am immoblized(sp?) right now!.....I can give it to her..If she wants to come here and pick it up??
Jessica Amber Murray
yup, that's what i'm going to ask. it's after 7:00, though, so she wouldn't be able to deposit the money right away. she could maybe come pick it up tomorrow if you'd rather. or maybe she'll just lend it to me herself.
mom
Whatever... I am good for it!
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm sending her an email right now.
mom
K
Ok...How Much?
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
ok, so this is how this would have to work.
What is Interac e-Transfer and what are the associated fees?
The Interac e-Transfer service allows you to securely send or receive money online via email. Here's how it works: the person sending money enters the recipient's email address, the amount they wish to send, and a security question. The recipient receives an email notifying them of the transfer and, once they correctly answer the security question (chosen by the sender), they can deposit the money to any Canadian-dollar bank account held at a Canadian financial institution. Once the recipient has deposited the transfer, the sender will receive an email confirming that the transfer was successfully completed.
Interac e-Transfers cost $1.00 to send. There is no fee to cancel an Interac e-Transfer if you do so within 24 hours of sending. However, after 24 hours there is a $5.00 fee to cancel.
so, that's what this is. you get to send me the security question, and i get to answer it.
you're with td. what you need to do is follow the instructions here, which are pretty simple. just create an easyweb account with td and use the interface on the page.
http://www.tdcanadatrust.com/products-services/banking/electronic-banking/ways-to-pay/email-transfer.jsp?cm_sp=cPAY000-022
i'm in a tim hortons, but i have groceries in my bag. i'm going to go sit outside and eat a salami sandwich. if you need me to call, please send me an email and i will call from a pay phone.
again, i'm sorry, but my stepmother just shot me in the face. if there was any chance of reconciliation, it's just evaporated.
To: grandmother’s email address
ok, so this is how this would have to work.
What is Interac e-Transfer and what are the associated fees?
The Interac e-Transfer service allows you to securely send or receive money online via email. Here's how it works: the person sending money enters the recipient's email address, the amount they wish to send, and a security question. The recipient receives an email notifying them of the transfer and, once they correctly answer the security question (chosen by the sender), they can deposit the money to any Canadian-dollar bank account held at a Canadian financial institution. Once the recipient has deposited the transfer, the sender will receive an email confirming that the transfer was successfully completed.
Interac e-Transfers cost $1.00 to send. There is no fee to cancel an Interac e-Transfer if you do so within 24 hours of sending. However, after 24 hours there is a $5.00 fee to cancel.
so, that's what this is. you get to send me the security question, and i get to answer it.
you're with td. what you need to do is follow the instructions here, which are pretty simple. just create an easyweb account with td and use the interface on the page.
http://www.tdcanadatrust.com/products-services/banking/electronic-banking/ways-to-pay/email-transfer.jsp?cm_sp=cPAY000-022
i'm in a tim hortons, but i have groceries in my bag. i'm going to go sit outside and eat a salami sandwich. if you need me to call, please send me an email and i will call from a pay phone.
again, i'm sorry, but my stepmother just shot me in the face. if there was any chance of reconciliation, it's just evaporated.
the queen of windsor
ESA
Omg the lady i might rent a room with sounds so awesome. She sounds like the queen of the windsor arts scene
Jessica Amber Murray
good for you.
i'm sure she'll be floored by my musical brilliance, then.
ESA
Ok, ross.
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't even know if that's an insult or not.
ESA
Lol
Bahhj this lady sounds so awesome. Shes obseased with doritos too
Jessica Amber Murray
really? sounds like some fun dorito nacho parties are to be had.
ESA
She was also impressed by my ability to find condomsband tanpons by the thousand. A good sign
Omg the lady i might rent a room with sounds so awesome. She sounds like the queen of the windsor arts scene
Jessica Amber Murray
good for you.
i'm sure she'll be floored by my musical brilliance, then.
ESA
Ok, ross.
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't even know if that's an insult or not.
ESA
Lol
Bahhj this lady sounds so awesome. Shes obseased with doritos too
Jessica Amber Murray
really? sounds like some fun dorito nacho parties are to be had.
ESA
She was also impressed by my ability to find condomsband tanpons by the thousand. A good sign
i don’t actually even really know what the fuck she’s even talking about
ESA
so whenever I answer the phone. I can be like "Hellooooo"
Jessica Amber Murray
if you'd like, i suppose. i'm kind of more of a sombre "hello", myself.
ESA
Youre like Ross from friends when he enters a room. Hes like "hi..."
Jessica Amber Murray
back to ross, again. it's more of an e'lo, with the emphasis on the first syllable. could probably be cut off comically to have me emphasizing HELL. *ring* *ring* HELL
i haven't seen the show enough to really identify, but i think i'm more rachel (that was jennifer aniston, right) than ross.
ESA
BAHHHHHHHHH NO WAY
youre fuckng ross
Theres no disputing that
Jessica Amber Murray
fuck, i think i'm more chandler than ross.
i'm like multiple personality disorder half chandler half rachel.
ESA
No way. Youre not chandler at all
Jessica Amber Murray
btw, you're more like courtney cox than phoebe. totally.
ESA
Youre 100% ross.
Haha. I love monica. Im becoming more and more like her. She is soooooooo my mom
Jessica Amber Murray
listen, it's not that i'm not enjoying this, but i need to set up an email account and then write out detailed wire-transfer-for-septuagenarians instructions.
ESA
Ok bye. Im bored. You can just ignore me. Lololol
so whenever I answer the phone. I can be like "Hellooooo"
Jessica Amber Murray
if you'd like, i suppose. i'm kind of more of a sombre "hello", myself.
ESA
Youre like Ross from friends when he enters a room. Hes like "hi..."
Jessica Amber Murray
back to ross, again. it's more of an e'lo, with the emphasis on the first syllable. could probably be cut off comically to have me emphasizing HELL. *ring* *ring* HELL
i haven't seen the show enough to really identify, but i think i'm more rachel (that was jennifer aniston, right) than ross.
ESA
BAHHHHHHHHH NO WAY
youre fuckng ross
Theres no disputing that
Jessica Amber Murray
fuck, i think i'm more chandler than ross.
i'm like multiple personality disorder half chandler half rachel.
ESA
No way. Youre not chandler at all
Jessica Amber Murray
btw, you're more like courtney cox than phoebe. totally.
ESA
Youre 100% ross.
Haha. I love monica. Im becoming more and more like her. She is soooooooo my mom
Jessica Amber Murray
listen, it's not that i'm not enjoying this, but i need to set up an email account and then write out detailed wire-transfer-for-septuagenarians instructions.
ESA
Ok bye. Im bored. You can just ignore me. Lololol
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
i just called td to ask them if there was an easy way to transfer money over the phone. there isn't. however, it can be transferred over email.
i need to set up an account, first. i'll then write you a tutorial that explains how to do it.
i'm sorry, but i was really relying on that transfer. i was there in the room when she promised in front of him. they were going to give me $2000 up front, but i asked them to hold on to it for a bit so that it could be applied towards something i needed.
this is something i need...
...and he wasn't even dead for a day before she broke that promise.
i can almost assure you that she's planning on giving that money to my sister instead. and i hate to say it, but i'm going to drag her ass through court if she wants to play like this.
i'll have another email coming in a few minutes.
To: grandmother’s email address
i just called td to ask them if there was an easy way to transfer money over the phone. there isn't. however, it can be transferred over email.
i need to set up an account, first. i'll then write you a tutorial that explains how to do it.
i'm sorry, but i was really relying on that transfer. i was there in the room when she promised in front of him. they were going to give me $2000 up front, but i asked them to hold on to it for a bit so that it could be applied towards something i needed.
this is something i need...
...and he wasn't even dead for a day before she broke that promise.
i can almost assure you that she's planning on giving that money to my sister instead. and i hate to say it, but i'm going to drag her ass through court if she wants to play like this.
i'll have another email coming in a few minutes.
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
my stepmother is NOT wiring me the money she promised to wire me.
To: grandmother’s email address
my stepmother is NOT wiring me the money she promised to wire me.
RE: your dad
From: stepmother’s address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
your sister says Leo's phone is ***********.
I have no money at the moment. The service is on Thursday at McEvoy-Shields and the internment is Friday at Pinecrest.
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
your sister says Leo's phone is ***********.
I have no money at the moment. The service is on Thursday at McEvoy-Shields and the internment is Friday at Pinecrest.
oh no, he didn't....
Illuminous
i just want you both to know that i really appreciate you making me laugh last night. i really needed it, after talking to my dad.
ESA
Hahaaaaaa lol ok. Any time. Were jess and i more hillarious than usual? Jeeeeebusss
Illuminous
the rondeau rivalry was a good distraction
ESA
RONDO.
Jessica Amber Murray
i think illuminous is quite correct, actually.
i just want you both to know that i really appreciate you making me laugh last night. i really needed it, after talking to my dad.
ESA
Hahaaaaaa lol ok. Any time. Were jess and i more hillarious than usual? Jeeeeebusss
Illuminous
the rondeau rivalry was a good distraction
ESA
RONDO.
Jessica Amber Murray
i think illuminous is quite correct, actually.
Re: your dad
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
ok, i'll have to leave tuesday night, then.
i'm sorry to be irritating about this, but she's not going to be back until tonight, and i can't even be sure if she's going to check her email. i don't even know leo's phone number. i might not be able to even contact her.
it should be something you can do over the internet. if there's a fee, i'll swallow it.
i understand there are costs involved in planning a funeral and that they take precedent. however, i have to know if you're wiring or not so i can plan around it (which might mean hitching out tomorrow afternoon empty-handed).
j
To: stepmother’s email address
ok, i'll have to leave tuesday night, then.
i'm sorry to be irritating about this, but she's not going to be back until tonight, and i can't even be sure if she's going to check her email. i don't even know leo's phone number. i might not be able to even contact her.
it should be something you can do over the internet. if there's a fee, i'll swallow it.
i understand there are costs involved in planning a funeral and that they take precedent. however, i have to know if you're wiring or not so i can plan around it (which might mean hitching out tomorrow afternoon empty-handed).
j
RE: your dad
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
The service will start around 10:00 AM Wednesday....
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
The service will start around 10:00 AM Wednesday....
incrementally pivoting away
ESA
How are you doing?
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm alright. i had a little cry this morning, but it passed quickly. i'll probably take the bus home...the funeral is on wednesday... i was expecting a wire transfer from my step mother a few days ago, but it didn't go through because she couldn't leave the room while he was dying. everything revolved around that transfer. i'm not certain it's coming anymore. so i'm stressing about that a bit. but i'm emotionally stable. i mean, this has been two years coming. i've had a lot of time to cope. it was just watching him go through the process of actually dying that i wanted to avoid. it might hit me harder later, but right now i'm really more glad it's over for everybody - especially him. he was always very stoic, but the last few months were terrible for him.
i was hoping to get a room by noon and start calling people, but i need the transfer to cover it. i sent a lot of emails out last night and didn't get anything back except 'rented'. it's getting late, though, so i'm going to hit the pay phones....
ESA
:( :( :( :( :( :( :(
so you're still in Windsor? When is the bus ?
I'll see I I can find you money or something
Jessica Amber Murray
you *are* turning into your mother - yes i'm in windsor!! i'd catch the bus out probably tuesday night, maybe wednesday morning. i'll find a way to scrobble something together, don't worry about it....it'll be either my stepmother or my grandmother at the last minute...
ESA
WOAH
I AM A MOM.
It didn't click in until right now.
Jessica Amber Murray
lols. i think you can settle for worried friend :P. i'll be in windsor until i bus out, though, k? i'll be in ottawa for wednesday at the latest. and i'm leaving with a place, too. in fact, i already have one. i just have to get him a check. i'm pretty sure i have two, even. i'm just looking to see if i can find something better... all is well.
ESA
If I can't take Leroy, do you want him for a bit? I'l buy kitty pheromones
I found a room, I think with some artist/photographer lady. she seems kewl.
It would be until I find a permanent place for him. I'll pay for food and litter and stuff
Jessica Amber Murray
actually, i kind of wanted to have a talk with you about crashing with leroy. i've seen what leroy is capable of. i think it depends on the place. i don't mind cats in general, but leroy has some glandular problems and some anger management issues and i'm not really comfortable with dealing with that. with the one on high street, i think he could be an outside cat for a few weeks. i could put some food out for him. if he wants to chill, we can play in the yard. in the house? not so keen on that. for the one on marion (which is the one i really want), it's a little less safe for him to be outside, i think. there's a yard in the back, but i suspect he'd escape. maybe the change of scenery will modify his behaviour. in all honesty, though, i'd prefer you find another person to watch him for a bit.
ESA
I think he needs to be outside. he has so much energy. He's been great for the last 2 weeks though. ever since i got rid of that couch.
Jessica Amber Murray
hrmmn. well, i'm not going to make a decision that's going to result in you losing your cat. can you brainstorm other ideas, though?
ESA
somebody else in Windsor. They haven't emailed me back, but it seems like its a ground floor house...
I meant, the place with the room is a ground floor house.
If they don't want him, then maybe he can live with illuminous? But I don't know what his plans are
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i like being the backup plan for leroy better :)
ESA
kk :)
Jessica Amber Murray
i also just want to reiterate that if you're just looking to crash for a few weeks and then find something else then i'm perfectly comfortable with you crashing with me. not pressuring, just pointing out that you don't *have* to pay that temporary rent (although i suppose it was smart to plan around me, considering my payment plan is in a questionable state)
i think illuminous mentioned that if he doesn't hear back from one of the places that an application was filled out for then he's going to stay in ottawa. that being said, i think he was kind of basing his decision on living with at least one of us. and guess it's down to etan at this point.
ESA
Yeah. I just don't want to deal with the pressure of dealing with them. If illuminous wants a roommate, then he should find one, and not rely on me to figure it out. Maybe he can contact etan.
I'm going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Or the next day. Need a few to figure my own shit out
Jessica Amber Murray
k. sorry to be apprehensive about leroy, but if you need me to do anything else down here in the next day or two or the next upcoming weeks i probably can.
ESA
No probs. I got everything under control. Also, you can use all my stuff if u want......shower curtain, dishes etc. I dont want to pay for a storage container
Jessica Amber Murray
i should have a ton of that stuff, but i don't mind hanging on to it. i should have a little bit of temporary storage space. not a whole lot, though.
ESA
Oh oknever mind then. I just thought u might need it.
Jessica Amber Murray
i've still got dishes and most other things of the nature from my last place. they're in my dad's garage. like, i'm going to need a big van to move. and a shower curtain is $5.
ESA
Lol my shower curtain waa fifty
Jessica Amber Murray
is it made of out of print vinyl? wow....
ESA
Well its a cloth one which was 35 and the liner was 7
Its very beautiful
God im bourgie
Jessica Amber Murray
aaaah. well, maybe i *will* take your shmancy shower curtain, then!
ESA
Ok but ill want it back. It was sort of an investment for my future.
Jessica Amber Murray
you should put it in a lock box, the value of cloth grows exponentially over time.
ESA
Hahahjaha
How are you doing?
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm alright. i had a little cry this morning, but it passed quickly. i'll probably take the bus home...the funeral is on wednesday... i was expecting a wire transfer from my step mother a few days ago, but it didn't go through because she couldn't leave the room while he was dying. everything revolved around that transfer. i'm not certain it's coming anymore. so i'm stressing about that a bit. but i'm emotionally stable. i mean, this has been two years coming. i've had a lot of time to cope. it was just watching him go through the process of actually dying that i wanted to avoid. it might hit me harder later, but right now i'm really more glad it's over for everybody - especially him. he was always very stoic, but the last few months were terrible for him.
i was hoping to get a room by noon and start calling people, but i need the transfer to cover it. i sent a lot of emails out last night and didn't get anything back except 'rented'. it's getting late, though, so i'm going to hit the pay phones....
ESA
:( :( :( :( :( :( :(
so you're still in Windsor? When is the bus ?
I'll see I I can find you money or something
Jessica Amber Murray
you *are* turning into your mother - yes i'm in windsor!! i'd catch the bus out probably tuesday night, maybe wednesday morning. i'll find a way to scrobble something together, don't worry about it....it'll be either my stepmother or my grandmother at the last minute...
ESA
WOAH
I AM A MOM.
It didn't click in until right now.
Jessica Amber Murray
lols. i think you can settle for worried friend :P. i'll be in windsor until i bus out, though, k? i'll be in ottawa for wednesday at the latest. and i'm leaving with a place, too. in fact, i already have one. i just have to get him a check. i'm pretty sure i have two, even. i'm just looking to see if i can find something better... all is well.
ESA
If I can't take Leroy, do you want him for a bit? I'l buy kitty pheromones
I found a room, I think with some artist/photographer lady. she seems kewl.
It would be until I find a permanent place for him. I'll pay for food and litter and stuff
Jessica Amber Murray
actually, i kind of wanted to have a talk with you about crashing with leroy. i've seen what leroy is capable of. i think it depends on the place. i don't mind cats in general, but leroy has some glandular problems and some anger management issues and i'm not really comfortable with dealing with that. with the one on high street, i think he could be an outside cat for a few weeks. i could put some food out for him. if he wants to chill, we can play in the yard. in the house? not so keen on that. for the one on marion (which is the one i really want), it's a little less safe for him to be outside, i think. there's a yard in the back, but i suspect he'd escape. maybe the change of scenery will modify his behaviour. in all honesty, though, i'd prefer you find another person to watch him for a bit.
ESA
I think he needs to be outside. he has so much energy. He's been great for the last 2 weeks though. ever since i got rid of that couch.
Jessica Amber Murray
hrmmn. well, i'm not going to make a decision that's going to result in you losing your cat. can you brainstorm other ideas, though?
ESA
somebody else in Windsor. They haven't emailed me back, but it seems like its a ground floor house...
I meant, the place with the room is a ground floor house.
If they don't want him, then maybe he can live with illuminous? But I don't know what his plans are
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i like being the backup plan for leroy better :)
ESA
kk :)
Jessica Amber Murray
i also just want to reiterate that if you're just looking to crash for a few weeks and then find something else then i'm perfectly comfortable with you crashing with me. not pressuring, just pointing out that you don't *have* to pay that temporary rent (although i suppose it was smart to plan around me, considering my payment plan is in a questionable state)
i think illuminous mentioned that if he doesn't hear back from one of the places that an application was filled out for then he's going to stay in ottawa. that being said, i think he was kind of basing his decision on living with at least one of us. and guess it's down to etan at this point.
ESA
Yeah. I just don't want to deal with the pressure of dealing with them. If illuminous wants a roommate, then he should find one, and not rely on me to figure it out. Maybe he can contact etan.
I'm going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Or the next day. Need a few to figure my own shit out
Jessica Amber Murray
k. sorry to be apprehensive about leroy, but if you need me to do anything else down here in the next day or two or the next upcoming weeks i probably can.
ESA
No probs. I got everything under control. Also, you can use all my stuff if u want......shower curtain, dishes etc. I dont want to pay for a storage container
Jessica Amber Murray
i should have a ton of that stuff, but i don't mind hanging on to it. i should have a little bit of temporary storage space. not a whole lot, though.
ESA
Oh oknever mind then. I just thought u might need it.
Jessica Amber Murray
i've still got dishes and most other things of the nature from my last place. they're in my dad's garage. like, i'm going to need a big van to move. and a shower curtain is $5.
ESA
Lol my shower curtain waa fifty
Jessica Amber Murray
is it made of out of print vinyl? wow....
ESA
Well its a cloth one which was 35 and the liner was 7
Its very beautiful
God im bourgie
Jessica Amber Murray
aaaah. well, maybe i *will* take your shmancy shower curtain, then!
ESA
Ok but ill want it back. It was sort of an investment for my future.
Jessica Amber Murray
you should put it in a lock box, the value of cloth grows exponentially over time.
ESA
Hahahjaha
Re: your dad
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
ok. presuming some money gets wired from one source or the other, i'll take the bus home on tuesday night or very early wednesday morning. it's about ten hours. nana won't be back in town until tonight. i should probably book that soon, though. what time are you planning for?
i have something lined up for sure tomorrow afternoon, i just have to get him a letter from odsp (which i'll have to get in the morning) and a check, but there's another place i like better that i'm hoping to hear back from first. i'll have to call them in the morning. thing is i can't stall the other one too long.....
j
To: stepmother’s email address
ok. presuming some money gets wired from one source or the other, i'll take the bus home on tuesday night or very early wednesday morning. it's about ten hours. nana won't be back in town until tonight. i should probably book that soon, though. what time are you planning for?
i have something lined up for sure tomorrow afternoon, i just have to get him a letter from odsp (which i'll have to get in the morning) and a check, but there's another place i like better that i'm hoping to hear back from first. i'll have to call them in the morning. thing is i can't stall the other one too long.....
j
RE: your dad
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
We are looking at Wednesday for the funeral....
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
We are looking at Wednesday for the funeral....
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
he died this morning, around 1:45.
i think it's for the best that the process is over. it's been long, slow and painful for everybody, especially for him. with the kind of life he's been living over the last few months, death should be viewed as an escape from the cage of conscious existence.
it seems like what they did was take him off the anti-seizures and then load him up with sedatives. i haven't heard the exact cause yet, but it was probably a brain hemorrhage, and he probably went in his sleep.
there wasn't any other possible outcome. the drugs were just prolonging the inevitable.
that means she should, in theory, be able to wire it today. i'd appreciate it if you acted otherwise unless i send another email, though. she's not always reliable in the best of times, and she rarely is in the worst of them. if she's mad at me or resentful over me not being there, she won't wire it. altruism and empathy are two of the things that her psychological conditions do not allow for.
i'll be back in town in a few days for the funeral. i couldn't handle watching him die, but i definitely want to go to that. i need to find out when that is, too. i want to get something signed in the next day or two, get the keys, then leave immediately afterwards.
if neither of you wire it, i'm sort of fucked. if you both wire it, i can just give you the money back when i get back.
i'll let you know if she sends me any more info.
j
To: grandmother’s email address
he died this morning, around 1:45.
i think it's for the best that the process is over. it's been long, slow and painful for everybody, especially for him. with the kind of life he's been living over the last few months, death should be viewed as an escape from the cage of conscious existence.
it seems like what they did was take him off the anti-seizures and then load him up with sedatives. i haven't heard the exact cause yet, but it was probably a brain hemorrhage, and he probably went in his sleep.
there wasn't any other possible outcome. the drugs were just prolonging the inevitable.
that means she should, in theory, be able to wire it today. i'd appreciate it if you acted otherwise unless i send another email, though. she's not always reliable in the best of times, and she rarely is in the worst of them. if she's mad at me or resentful over me not being there, she won't wire it. altruism and empathy are two of the things that her psychological conditions do not allow for.
i'll be back in town in a few days for the funeral. i couldn't handle watching him die, but i definitely want to go to that. i need to find out when that is, too. i want to get something signed in the next day or two, get the keys, then leave immediately afterwards.
if neither of you wire it, i'm sort of fucked. if you both wire it, i can just give you the money back when i get back.
i'll let you know if she sends me any more info.
j
Re: your dad
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i couldn't be there at the end, but i would like to be home for the funeral.
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i couldn't be there at the end, but i would like to be home for the funeral.
your dad
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Passed away Sunday morning at 1:45
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Passed away Sunday morning at 1:45
Saturday, July 27, 2013
you, you’re awesome
ESA
Jess, you're awesome.
Jessica Amber Murray
thanks?
ESA
i just read your post.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah.
ESA
next time i see you, im gonna give you a hug
Jessica Amber Murray
k. thanks.
ESA
are you still in Windsor?
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah.
i'll be here a few more days.
i'm not going to do the hostel thing tonight, but i probably will tomorrow.
ESA
oh ok
did you have a fun day with ZID ?
Jessica Amber Murray
zid?
ESA
the wobblies.
Jessica Amber Murray
oh, no. i left before they got up. i know you're thinking i should call them. mackaye did give me his number. i'm kind of enjoying sitting alone in the coffee shop for the night, though. if things get heavy, though, i won't hesitate. i know my trigger symptoms.
ESA
ok, or if you want to call me thats cool too
Jessica Amber Murray
umm. are *you* still in windsor?
ESA
no
Jessica Amber Murray
k. yeah, i think i'm ok. i'm just really....calm. i'll probably want to talk later, in small bits. but right now, not so much.
ESA
Ok. I'm going to bed around midnight hopefully. have to work in the morning.
Jessica Amber Murray
sleep well, erin.
ESA
good luck in the hunt.
call me if you need to
Jessica Amber Murray
thanks :)
Jess, you're awesome.
Jessica Amber Murray
thanks?
ESA
i just read your post.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah.
ESA
next time i see you, im gonna give you a hug
Jessica Amber Murray
k. thanks.
ESA
are you still in Windsor?
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah.
i'll be here a few more days.
i'm not going to do the hostel thing tonight, but i probably will tomorrow.
ESA
oh ok
did you have a fun day with ZID ?
Jessica Amber Murray
zid?
ESA
the wobblies.
Jessica Amber Murray
oh, no. i left before they got up. i know you're thinking i should call them. mackaye did give me his number. i'm kind of enjoying sitting alone in the coffee shop for the night, though. if things get heavy, though, i won't hesitate. i know my trigger symptoms.
ESA
ok, or if you want to call me thats cool too
Jessica Amber Murray
umm. are *you* still in windsor?
ESA
no
Jessica Amber Murray
k. yeah, i think i'm ok. i'm just really....calm. i'll probably want to talk later, in small bits. but right now, not so much.
ESA
Ok. I'm going to bed around midnight hopefully. have to work in the morning.
Jessica Amber Murray
sleep well, erin.
ESA
good luck in the hunt.
call me if you need to
Jessica Amber Murray
thanks :)
so, i'm slowly sorting through apartment listings in a tim horton's in
windsor by myself because i'm afraid that if i go home i'll get
episodic.
the irony was never really lost on me. i first clued in on the ride here. i almost didn't leave at all; i didn't think i was in a stable enough mindset. i thought i felt him pass on sunday night and took it as evidence of needing to turtle for a few days. that was a freaky night (this is why i slept in and screwed up my plan). i felt alright enough in the morning, though. or did i just trigger myself? was not feeling episodic a part of the episode? i'm still not sure. at least i feel fairly calm. i've been calm all week, pretty much. well, i got a little snappy in a game of scrabble, but that's it. i'm not at all frantic in any way. i'm just slowly sorting through apartment listings in a tim horton's in windsor by myself.
very calmly.
if i can compare episodes and argue that one type of episode is better than the other, i think i picked the less harmful option. i trust my ability to improvise more than i trust my ability to cope.
all hope is lost, but he's still hanging on. he wasn't supposed to make it through wednesday night. he wasn't supposed to make it through 2012, either. he has a habit of making it through things nobody expects him to make it through. so, it's sort of typical.
fuck, he might hang on until i get home.
no. he won't.
and then it won't be home anymore...
i recognize that this seems like a strange thing to think about on the brink of one's father's death. a monty python skit? yeah. but, it was a frequently reproduced one. he strongly identified with the black knight, here. i'm not sure how he managed to interpret the skit as a parable for perseverance, but he somehow did. if there was a hint of irony, a touch of sarcasm, a commentary on the futility of struggle, then i never really picked up on it.
it's a dark analogy, but it's been running through my mind the whole week.
the irony was never really lost on me. i first clued in on the ride here. i almost didn't leave at all; i didn't think i was in a stable enough mindset. i thought i felt him pass on sunday night and took it as evidence of needing to turtle for a few days. that was a freaky night (this is why i slept in and screwed up my plan). i felt alright enough in the morning, though. or did i just trigger myself? was not feeling episodic a part of the episode? i'm still not sure. at least i feel fairly calm. i've been calm all week, pretty much. well, i got a little snappy in a game of scrabble, but that's it. i'm not at all frantic in any way. i'm just slowly sorting through apartment listings in a tim horton's in windsor by myself.
very calmly.
if i can compare episodes and argue that one type of episode is better than the other, i think i picked the less harmful option. i trust my ability to improvise more than i trust my ability to cope.
all hope is lost, but he's still hanging on. he wasn't supposed to make it through wednesday night. he wasn't supposed to make it through 2012, either. he has a habit of making it through things nobody expects him to make it through. so, it's sort of typical.
fuck, he might hang on until i get home.
no. he won't.
and then it won't be home anymore...
i recognize that this seems like a strange thing to think about on the brink of one's father's death. a monty python skit? yeah. but, it was a frequently reproduced one. he strongly identified with the black knight, here. i'm not sure how he managed to interpret the skit as a parable for perseverance, but he somehow did. if there was a hint of irony, a touch of sarcasm, a commentary on the futility of struggle, then i never really picked up on it.
it's a dark analogy, but it's been running through my mind the whole week.
Re: i'm in windsor
From: Jessica Murray<death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address
ugh. ok. this is the email i didn't want to send...
i think i've found a nice spot that i like. it's a really nice two bedroom basement apartment in a traditional italian design. 1000 square feet. $650 all inclusive. i'm waiting to hear back, but could move in on the first. i've also found a second place that's about the same price, but a little further out of town. it's mine if i can get him first and last by monday.
now, i can handle most of first and last if i can get him to give me lease info and then wait until the first. unfortunately, that will probably cause me to lose the apartment.
i had a talk with my step-mother the other day and she said she was going to start wiring me around $400 on a monthly basis. the first and last depended on the odsp (which needs a lease) and the wire. she can't do the wire right now because he's literally on his death bed and cannot leave his side. it'll be any day now.
i feel i'm better off not being there. i've been through several mental collapses over the last few years, and i'm virtually certain that watching him convulse and cry and scream in fear and pain as he takes his last few breaths is going to send me right to the crazy house. i have to place reason over passion, here. i'm going to continue living. my mental health consequently takes priority. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little upset about this, but that's just how it is.
i also feel like i've already let go. really, he died a long time ago as far as i'm concerned. i thought he was dead when he went for the last surgery. i thought he was dead when he was in the hospital. i've done my crying, gone through my stages of loss and don't want to trigger myself back into it. i want to carry on, now.
i could wait for a few days, but that means i'd be looking for something for september and wasting lots of money on lots of silly things (i haven't paid for a hotel room yet but would have to if i'm here that much longer, eating fast food, etc). also, i just want to get this over with. and i honestly like this place.
so, i'm wondering if you could transfer me about $1500 asap. it can actually be done over the internet. i can get $650 of that back to you on the first of august, $400 near the beginning of september and the rest at the beginning of october.....unless she wires a larger chunk, in which case i could get it all back to you sooner.
after that, i can also start paying you back some of the other money i owe you. i can do something like $200/month.
again, i didn't want to send this. the money is coming in, though, and i am certain it will come back to you relatively quickly.
j
To: grandmother’s email address
ugh. ok. this is the email i didn't want to send...
i think i've found a nice spot that i like. it's a really nice two bedroom basement apartment in a traditional italian design. 1000 square feet. $650 all inclusive. i'm waiting to hear back, but could move in on the first. i've also found a second place that's about the same price, but a little further out of town. it's mine if i can get him first and last by monday.
now, i can handle most of first and last if i can get him to give me lease info and then wait until the first. unfortunately, that will probably cause me to lose the apartment.
i had a talk with my step-mother the other day and she said she was going to start wiring me around $400 on a monthly basis. the first and last depended on the odsp (which needs a lease) and the wire. she can't do the wire right now because he's literally on his death bed and cannot leave his side. it'll be any day now.
i feel i'm better off not being there. i've been through several mental collapses over the last few years, and i'm virtually certain that watching him convulse and cry and scream in fear and pain as he takes his last few breaths is going to send me right to the crazy house. i have to place reason over passion, here. i'm going to continue living. my mental health consequently takes priority. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little upset about this, but that's just how it is.
i also feel like i've already let go. really, he died a long time ago as far as i'm concerned. i thought he was dead when he went for the last surgery. i thought he was dead when he was in the hospital. i've done my crying, gone through my stages of loss and don't want to trigger myself back into it. i want to carry on, now.
i could wait for a few days, but that means i'd be looking for something for september and wasting lots of money on lots of silly things (i haven't paid for a hotel room yet but would have to if i'm here that much longer, eating fast food, etc). also, i just want to get this over with. and i honestly like this place.
so, i'm wondering if you could transfer me about $1500 asap. it can actually be done over the internet. i can get $650 of that back to you on the first of august, $400 near the beginning of september and the rest at the beginning of october.....unless she wires a larger chunk, in which case i could get it all back to you sooner.
after that, i can also start paying you back some of the other money i owe you. i can do something like $200/month.
this is
the necessary bank info:
account
#: ***************
branch
no: *******
institution
no: *** (scotiabank)
swift
code: *******
again, i didn't want to send this. the money is coming in, though, and i am certain it will come back to you relatively quickly.
j
Re: i'm in mississaugua
From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i had to ask, in all honesty. i couldn't handle what you're doing right now at all, and am not even going to try and say anything.
he knows i love him, but make sure it's clear if he asks.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i had to ask, in all honesty. i couldn't handle what you're doing right now at all, and am not even going to try and say anything.
he knows i love him, but make sure it's clear if he asks.
j
too little, too late
ESA
Hey i think im quitting smoking
Well cutting down to five a day.
Jessica Amber Murray
probably a good idea. i'm going to need to do that soon, too. the drinking is also going to be cut down a lot when i get my shit set up. i'm going to try and set up some more viewings over the next few days. i think i'm going to give myself until the first to try and find something here before i move on to other cities in the area, but i think it should find something by monday, probably. i may settle for a one bedroom, if it's big enough, and just never invite anybody over for drinks. i'm finding nice ones for around 550-600 all inclusive, and nice two bedrooms for around 650 after utilities (or all inclusive), meaning that, realistically, you're probably looking at around 450-550 for a nice bachelor in a non-crappy area. that's not the $300 that you were hoping for, but it's still relatively cheap (those prices are impossible in ottawa). how you feeling about things, really? i know this trip was probably sort of a downer and not just because nothing was found but because it doesn't seem like what you were hoping to find is currently on the market. if you want to rant at all, let loose. it'd be nice to have a friend down here, but don't forget that staying at carleton and in ottawa remains an option.
if you really really want the space for your cat and the possibility of maybe moving a piano in, you could always try to get a room in somebody else's house. chances are low that they'll even run a credit check at all. there seems to be a lot of listings like this for 300-450. here's one...http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=500184770
ESA
i'm definitely leaving ottawa. I have to. I dont have any options. The trip was not such a downer... it was good, but me finding an apartment was sabotaged. Im also quite frustrated about my friendship with iluminous, and that he can't make decisions for himself. Its a lot of pressure to figure shit out for two people. I've been feeling lately that people take advantage of my initiative, like I'm being followed around by a bunch of lost puppies all of the time. I'm going to start figuring things out for myself first, because I'm not together enough to figure shit out for other people.
Well you weren't a lost puppy, you were just waiting things out.
I'm not going to talk over the internet.
Could you please help me find a place once you're in Windsor?
Jessica Amber Murray
yup, i'll help. this place might be big enough for the two of us, if you could handle living with me. well, if we could handle living together. getting a piano down the stairs might be a problem. but it looks like there's enough space for one down there. good cat neighbourhood. a bit out of town, though. not too bad. it's south of the centre of the city, at least. looks about the same distance as westboro to the rideau centre (if i were to guess). http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-2-bedroom-2-BDRM-650-00-HYDRO-HEAT-INCLUDED-CLOSE-TO-DEVONSHIRE-MALL-W0QQAdIdZ506973240
ESA
this one? i'm looking for you
http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-2-bedroom-Just-reduced-avail-Immediately-Great-Central-Location-595-W0QQAdIdZ507889145
and then i'll come crash if i need to
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, i saw that one, but i can't handle $800 after utilities. if you're more comfortable crashing and finding your own place, that's fine. that one i sent just looks unusually huge, and we'd both save some cash in the end... the one i saw yesterday is this one: http://www.rent4all.ca/listings/tohouse.php?id=992_1&s=. sucks that there aren't pictures, but it's as nice inside as the one i saw today (and have if i want it) which is here (and has pictures). http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-2-bedroom-2-bedroom-upper-duplex-unit-5-min-east-of-Walkerville-area-W0QQAdIdZ507622327
ESA
You should get the one on high street. its super nice.
Jessica Amber Murray
it is, but it's far. and the other one is actually *nicer*.
Hey i think im quitting smoking
Well cutting down to five a day.
Jessica Amber Murray
probably a good idea. i'm going to need to do that soon, too. the drinking is also going to be cut down a lot when i get my shit set up. i'm going to try and set up some more viewings over the next few days. i think i'm going to give myself until the first to try and find something here before i move on to other cities in the area, but i think it should find something by monday, probably. i may settle for a one bedroom, if it's big enough, and just never invite anybody over for drinks. i'm finding nice ones for around 550-600 all inclusive, and nice two bedrooms for around 650 after utilities (or all inclusive), meaning that, realistically, you're probably looking at around 450-550 for a nice bachelor in a non-crappy area. that's not the $300 that you were hoping for, but it's still relatively cheap (those prices are impossible in ottawa). how you feeling about things, really? i know this trip was probably sort of a downer and not just because nothing was found but because it doesn't seem like what you were hoping to find is currently on the market. if you want to rant at all, let loose. it'd be nice to have a friend down here, but don't forget that staying at carleton and in ottawa remains an option.
if you really really want the space for your cat and the possibility of maybe moving a piano in, you could always try to get a room in somebody else's house. chances are low that they'll even run a credit check at all. there seems to be a lot of listings like this for 300-450. here's one...http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=500184770
ESA
i'm definitely leaving ottawa. I have to. I dont have any options. The trip was not such a downer... it was good, but me finding an apartment was sabotaged. Im also quite frustrated about my friendship with iluminous, and that he can't make decisions for himself. Its a lot of pressure to figure shit out for two people. I've been feeling lately that people take advantage of my initiative, like I'm being followed around by a bunch of lost puppies all of the time. I'm going to start figuring things out for myself first, because I'm not together enough to figure shit out for other people.
Well you weren't a lost puppy, you were just waiting things out.
I'm not going to talk over the internet.
Could you please help me find a place once you're in Windsor?
Jessica Amber Murray
yup, i'll help. this place might be big enough for the two of us, if you could handle living with me. well, if we could handle living together. getting a piano down the stairs might be a problem. but it looks like there's enough space for one down there. good cat neighbourhood. a bit out of town, though. not too bad. it's south of the centre of the city, at least. looks about the same distance as westboro to the rideau centre (if i were to guess). http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-2-bedroom-2-BDRM-650-00-HYDRO-HEAT-INCLUDED-CLOSE-TO-DEVONSHIRE-MALL-W0QQAdIdZ506973240
ESA
this one? i'm looking for you
http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-2-bedroom-Just-reduced-avail-Immediately-Great-Central-Location-595-W0QQAdIdZ507889145
and then i'll come crash if i need to
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, i saw that one, but i can't handle $800 after utilities. if you're more comfortable crashing and finding your own place, that's fine. that one i sent just looks unusually huge, and we'd both save some cash in the end... the one i saw yesterday is this one: http://www.rent4all.ca/listings/tohouse.php?id=992_1&s=. sucks that there aren't pictures, but it's as nice inside as the one i saw today (and have if i want it) which is here (and has pictures). http://windsor.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-apartments-condos-2-bedroom-2-bedroom-upper-duplex-unit-5-min-east-of-Walkerville-area-W0QQAdIdZ507622327
ESA
You should get the one on high street. its super nice.
Jessica Amber Murray
it is, but it's far. and the other one is actually *nicer*.
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