Sunday, July 28, 2013

Re: i'm in windsor

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address

actually, she sent it over email.

it's done.

no need to transfer.

sorry for waking you up early.

INTERAC e-Transfer

From:  <notify@payments.interac.ca>
To: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

Re: Rent

From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

i'm planning to get the keys for august 1st, so it should be gone by september 1st.

Re: i'm in windsor

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address

i think you should probably ignore most of this. i was very frustrated and basically talking nonsense.

she claims she's going to wire a little after all, through my sister. around $1600. the money from my stepmother is a gift from my father and wouldn't need to be repaid. i'd appreciate it if you went ahead with the $2000 anyways, and i'll pay back whatever is extra (i'll just transfer it back). if everything works out, i should be able to transfer it as soon as i get back to ottawa. but i don't really want to rely on her. i trust my sister - in this context. but the stepmother has really burned those bridges.

like i say, if both go through, i'll just give it back immediately. but if the stepmother’s doesn't come through, and you don't do it, i'm really profoundly screwed.

the important information is the transfer information. just please send me off an email in the morning.

intervention

mom
Geesh!...My Love....I hate that this on facebook in any shape or form.

Jessica Amber Murray
i called nana again. she says she'll do it. you're probably on the phone with her right now.

mom
what did she say?

i'm not on the phone with anyone

Jessica Amber Murray
she said she'd call you and that she'll transfer the money in the morning.

mom
like i'm going to pay her back then?

or she's just going to give it to you?

Jessica Amber Murray
i think she was expecting you'd give it to her. i'm planning on paying you back either way, so it's sort of up to you guys to talk about. just let me know who i'm paying back :)

sister via mom’s facebook account
This is your sister. I will send you an email interac transfer when I get home. I will send $1500, and she will give me the cash. That is how much she can give you right now.

As you can imagine, I don't feel as though I'm being a selfish bitch for not responding to emails every five minute right now. I was up all night the last three nights in a row, and needed to get some sleep today.

Anyway, hopefully that is enough for you to both get the place you want and get a bus back in time for Thursday.

She is yelling about how you better not be spending it on drugs.

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i just got back from a pay phone and see that she sent me an email saying essentially as much. in the sense that i was over-reacting, i apologize; to be oppressively logical, as i so often am, the fact is that you did actually respond, so the premise that you weren’t going to is flawed and the conclusion that would have followed had you not responded does not follow now that you have. that said, you can imagine i'm not feeling the grandest at the moment, either. i don't do drugs...

ask her to use death.to.koalas@gmail.com.

sister via mom’s facebook account
Ok, anyway, with regards to the bus ticket, the web fare for greyhound is WAY cheaper than you walking in an buying a ticket.

I suggest you use an online bank transfer for it through the greyhound website.

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. it's cheaper if you buy more than three days in advance, too. i'm just not sure what the best day to go is yet. i may be here until wednesday morning, even. i'll figure this out tomorrow afternoon.

sister via mom’s facebook account
Ok, I HAVE to get out of here right now, as you can imagine.

I'll email you when I get home / at Dad's.

Rent

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

I will deposit $1600 in your account tomorrow to cover your first and last month’s rent and a bus ticket if you choose to attend your father’s funeral. That will be all the money you will ever receive from me. I will be putting this house up for sale so you will have to move your stuff elsewhere within the next month.
Jessica Amber Murray
actually, no. ack. she's drunk and not thinking clearly. i may be stuck here until the first. last chance is to go down to odsp in the morning and see if they have any magic solution.

ESA
Nooooo ok. Lemme know if u need my help
mom
J...The only way I can wire you some money is if I hook up my account to yours.... I cannot compromise myself like that!.... I am only allowed a certain amount of money!....I have it here for you...If someone else could come and pick it up and deliver it to you....I know!...Rather UseLess!

Jessica Amber Murray
i agree. hopefully, my sister responds soon, or nana does. i may be here longer than i wanted to be, then. such is life, i suppose.

mom
If one of them wants to the technical crap required.... I am good for the cash!.....

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'll let them know.

mom
I can just pay them back.
Jessica Amber Murray
seems like my mom saved the day, and then some. not going to be here until the morning, though.

ESA
Wait.... youre coming to ottawa?

Jessica Amber Murray
no, she's going to compensate for the lost wire transfer, hopefully short term. now i just have to hope today was a bad day and tomorrow is a good day and i get the one i want.

too drunk to go outside

mom
J...Do you really think in the midst of highly emotional pain that either one of us is a priority??....She is ignoring me too.

Jessica Amber Murray
i sure hope we are. we're alive. he's dead. it's not like he got hit by a train. he's been mentally retarded for months. as an individual, bob died some time in the spring. he's been a shell ever since. he was living a horrible, painful existence. this is a release from agony. it should be a celebration, really. i don't expect either of them to really get that. but to suggest that i should go starve so they can mourn over somebody who's been dying a horrific, slow, painful death for the last two years is just ridiculous.

i would have pushed for euthanasia weeks ago. it would have been the humane thing to do.

mom
I hear you J....But your sister is devastated...I don't know how to approach her right now? We have to remember that she is with a precious child!....I really don't want to stress her out any more right now.

Jessica Amber Murray
sitting on the computer for five minutes to help her sibling carry through with a universally understood plan that was in fact already budgeted for via a request that was entirely expected for days shouldn't be a stressful occurrence. if she can't do that for me, fuck her. selfish bitch.

i don't really have much patience for any of them anymore. they're all a bunch of self-absorbed assholes.

mom
I know exactly your aggressive feeling right now!....

Jessica Amber Murray
it's not aggression, it's frustration. i'm not asking for her to drive out to get me. i'm asking for her to check her email, respond with whether she can help or not and, if she can, help. it's not going to interfere with whatever she's doing. seems like all i can do is go into odsp tomorrow and ask if they have any kind of advance system for rent. if they don't, i'm not giving up the apartment to go cry with a bunch of people that clearly don't give a fuck about me. i'll mourn on my own. i don't need a fucking parade. fuck them.

there's no rational way to interpret this than that nobody cares. i'm sorry; it's the only way to parse it.

why should i give a fuck about somebody that can't be fucking bothered to take five minutes to answer an email? this isn't the first time i've had to deal with this self-absorbed, myopic fucking me-me-me attitude. it's despicable, really.

mom
OK!...How can I help? There is a money thinggy down the street from me.

Jessica Amber Murray
what is it, exactly? a western union?

mom
I thinks so

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm not sure. i've never used it before. it might even be closed. let me google quickly.

mom
What do i do?

Jessica Amber Murray
two minutes, i'll check.

mom
K

Jessica Amber Murray
wait. are you sober enough to walk out of the house with a lot of money and feel safe?

mom
Well... I guess I could be...But have to fix my face!LOL

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, well that's the least of my concerns.

mom
Where do I go?

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. first, can you call this number and see if they're open: ***********. it's an "ez cash" down montreal road. there's a money mart that's closer but i don't think they do wires.

there may be a $20 charge, but just take it out of whatever you're wiring, that's fine.

mom
SO THEN..If they don't do wires(which I am suspect about)...How do you want me to send?

K...got your information. Will do my best K

Jessica Amber Murray
you wouldn't be able to without using online banking or walking into a bank very early in the morning with the same information i just provided you with. are you comfortable transferring from your bank account? the bank would make you do that. but it's probably safer to wait, if you're comfortable, and can be sure you can be at one at like 8:00.

mom
Is there anyway to do in online?

Jessica Amber Murray
you can do it online, but you have to do it from bank to bank.

at this time of night all the banks are closed, so the money would have to be *in* the bank already. if you're tipsy, stay in, mom.

mom
Only poblem with online is that the money is not in the bank!

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. so you can't do it like that. did you call the place? are they open?

mom
No... I have to walk out of here with a shitload of cash.

You know how I look!... I will be a sitting duck!

I will do it tomorrow.

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. ok, so that's not a great idea at this time of night on foot, i agree. so, if you walk into a bank and wire it from your account will they track it?

the answer is probably yes.

mom
Not sure how this system works? I was thinking I would just bring my cash in(and of course their eyes will pop out of their heads!(.......And Deal with them accordingly....

Jessica Amber Murray
lol. yeah. maybe bring a friend you trust? and can you just make sure you keep in touch in the morning so i know what's happening?

mom
K... I am not afraid during the dayrtime.

Jessica Amber Murray
alright.

Re: i need to ask you a favour

From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

now she says she wants to give me $3000. i’m not totally taking that seriously, but i could handle borrowing a little more. if i could get a train back and find somewhere to sleep tonight that would sure be nice, though. she’s saying you could even pick it up tonight, if you want.

it all depends on what’s in your account. if you can wire $1500, that would be better. she’ll give it to you when you decide to go get it.

she would have promised me a pony if i asked for one

Jessica Amber Murray
it was $1300.

mom
I will give you$3,000.00....

Will that be enough??

Jessica Amber Murray
wow. well, that's a whole lot, mom. that's more than enough.

mom
Well.. Perhaps pay a few months rent with it.

Don't tell disabilty though!

Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, that would be perfect for that. listen, i'm going to jump offline for two seconds to walk across the street to try and call my sister. i'll be back in a few minutes.

mom
K

Tell her to call me. Or just show up at my door.

Jessica Amber Murray
k. i tried to call collect, and it was blocked. then i tried to call nana collect, and it was blocked. so i spent five dollars on an answering machine message. great. now i have to wait and see how she responds.

i need to ask you a favour

From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

mom will lend me the cash, but she won’t wire it. even if i can get a hold of her, i don’t really trust nana to figure out how the computer works.

i assume you do banking online already. if so, sending an email transfer is super easy. if not, setting up an account with your bank will take two minutes. so, i was wondering if you could go pick it up, deposit it into your account and wire it.

now, it’s after 7:00 on a sunday, so if you deposit it into a bank machine, it’s not going to show up for a few days. so, you’d have to already have the cash in there. the places i’m juggling are 600, 650...so i asked to borrow $1300. in order for this to work, you’re going to have to already have $1300 in your account, then go get the $1300 from her and replace it.

honestly, you’d be better off waiting until tomorrow to get the money from mom. first, she’s clearly drunk right now. second, if you give it to a teller it will show up immediately; you won’t have to wait the few days for the machine to process it.

mom is claiming i shouldn’t pay it back, but she’s drunk. i can get her $650 on the first. i think the city will likely give me roughly $500 on top of that. and i am still expecting some money from the stepmother in the near future (she offered me $2000 up front just a few days ago, which is where that number came from).

i have to get this to the guy by tomorrow, otherwise i’m probably coming home with nothing. of course, in that scenario, i’m coming back, likely within a week. now that i know how cheap rent is here in windsor, i’d be a fucking idiot to go back to ottawa where i’m paying twice as much.

so, please let me know if you can do this ASAP.

j

can you identify somebody being blackout drunk solely via text message?

Jessica Amber Murray
i have a favour to ask. i'll understand if it's impossible, but i'm getting sort of desperate. i came down to windsor looking for a place to stay. the rent down here is very cheap. i've got two offers out for two bedrooms - one is $600 + hydro and is the entire top floor of a house, the other is $650 all inclusive and is a basement apartment that is bigger than any basement i've ever lived in. both would run over $1300 in ottawa. it's literally half price. now, i went down here expecting the following things: 1) that my stepmother would wire me around $400 on or around july 26th. 2) that i would get a lease signed near the end of july. 3) that i could take the lease to odsp, which would upgrade me to the full $1025 rental + basic needs amount. 4) that i would be eligible for some kind of first-and-last rent helper program. i don't know what exists in windsor, but such things do exist in ottawa. it's obviously not possible to place first & last down from a single odsp check, and it's not reasonable to expect any savings from an income that is 60% of the minimum wage. 5) that the $400 + $1025 + helper money would be enough to get first and last down and eat for the month (although not much more). 6) that my dad would still be alive when i got home. what's actually happened is that everybody wants first and last before the first. i didn't think it would the biggest problem. i had a talk with dad and the stepmother last week, where she promised him that she'd take care of me by wiring me some money when i needed it. it was a direct "bob, i promise" sort of thing. she initially offered to give me $2000 cash on the spot, but i was a little skeptical about taking that much at once for a number of reasons. i thought it would be a better idea to wire me small amounts at once. that's where the $400 amount came from. the idea, though, was that they should hold on to the cash until i needed it for something. at the moment, i need it for something, but she's refusing to even wire me the $400. she claims she doesn't have any money, which is of course bullshit. to begin with, she had $2000 to give me last week. it's not a leap of logic to deduce that she just doesn't want to wire me any money. that was a promise to her husband, made on his death bed, and broken in less than 12 hours after his death. i don't know how this is going to work out, but i'm beyond livid. i'm sitting alone in a tim horton's in windsor, and she just doesn't give a fuck. i'm not above suing her and dragging it out as long as possible. i'd probably even take pleasure from seeing her completely ruined and penniless. the hate is hard to quantify. i've been sending out emails to nana all afternoon, with the hope that she'll read them when she gets home from the cottage. i'm not sure that she will. further, i'm not confident that she's going to be able to figure out how to wire it over the internet. i've sent her directions, but she's just so horrible with computers... i asked the stepmother for the $2000 she initially offered me. i asked nana for $1500 to cover first/last rent, a hostel for the night (i can claim this through odsp living expenses) and a ticket home (i didn't want to miss the funeral...but it's been pushed back to thursday, so i should be able to hitch it if i have to, now). i'm going to ask you for just the $1300 for the rent. as for paying it back, i can get $650 back to you immediately on the first of august (out of the 1025...i need to eat...), plus whatever the city gives me tomorrow (i'm thinking it's probably around $500). on top of that, i do expect some money from the stepmother soon, so if the city gives less i can pay it back from there. i know it's a big chunk. and i need it wired here by tomorrow morning. if this is impossible, i understand. if it's not, it might be my last chance to not go home without a place here. (if i do go home without a place, i'd come back for september. there's no possible way i'm paying ottawa prices anymore, not after i've seen the prices down here.)

it could in theory be wired immediately over the internet, and i can help you do that. you'd really just have to set up an internet banking account with your bank.

mom
Yes...I can give your money....

Only thing is ...I can only give in cash.

No.. I am not willing to set up with an internet dumb site!

You have to come to my house and see me in person...

You don't have to pay anything back...It is my gift to you...

Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i appreciate the gift, but that won't work. i need to get the downpayment down before i leave windsor. also, i promise we'll go for lunch before i leave. and, yes you can come visit. i was even thinking of maybe asking you to drive the moving van down (i'd pay for it). is your license still suspended? i wonder if i could get my sister to go pick it up and wire the cash. are you in vanier?

mom
Yes.. I am in Vanier. And Yes...My license is valid...

Jessica Amber Murray
if i asked my sister to go pick it up and then set up an internet account (she probably already has one) and then wire it to me would you be ok with that? it's just that the whole point is getting the place. if i go home and get the cash, i'm going to lose the place; if i come back in a few weeks, i probably won't need the cash anymore. and i'll pay you back. i promise that. possibly immediately when i get home (depending on how the odsp thing works out).

mom
Well.. My Love...You wouldn't have to worry about paying me back....Is your sister in town? She would have to pick up my cash then??

Jessica Amber Murray
as far as i know, she's with my stepmother right now. of course, i'll have to ask her. what i need is it wired. if you don't want to wire it, maybe she'll wire it. i mean, i'm in windsor, i can't come get it...

mom
I am immoblized(sp?) right now!.....I can give it to her..If she wants to come here and pick it up??

Jessica Amber Murray
yup, that's what i'm going to ask. it's after 7:00, though, so she wouldn't be able to deposit the money right away. she could maybe come pick it up tomorrow if you'd rather. or maybe she'll just lend it to me herself.

mom
Whatever... I am good for it!

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i'm sending her an email right now.

mom
K

Ok...How Much?

Re: i'm in windsor

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address

ok, so this is how this would have to work.

What is Interac e-Transfer and what are the associated fees?

The Interac e-Transfer service allows you to securely send or receive money online via email.  Here's how it works: the person sending money enters the recipient's email address, the amount they wish to send, and a security question.  The recipient receives an email notifying them of the transfer and, once they correctly answer the security question (chosen by the sender), they can deposit the money to any Canadian-dollar bank account held at a Canadian financial institution. Once the recipient has deposited the transfer, the sender will receive an email confirming that the transfer was successfully completed.

Interac e-Transfers cost $1.00 to send.  There is no fee to cancel an Interac e-Transfer if you do so within 24 hours of sending. However, after 24 hours there is a $5.00 fee to cancel.

so, that's what this is. you get to send me the security question, and i get to answer it.

you're with td. what you need to do is follow the instructions here, which are pretty simple. just create an easyweb account with td and use the interface on the page.

http://www.tdcanadatrust.com/products-services/banking/electronic-banking/ways-to-pay/email-transfer.jsp?cm_sp=cPAY000-022

i'm in a tim hortons, but i have groceries in my bag. i'm going to go sit outside and eat a salami sandwich. if you need me to call, please send me an email and i will call from a pay phone.

again, i'm sorry, but my stepmother just shot me in the face. if there was any chance of reconciliation, it's just evaporated.

the queen of windsor

ESA
Omg the lady i might rent a room with sounds so awesome. She sounds like the queen of the windsor arts scene

Jessica Amber Murray
good for you.

i'm sure she'll be floored by my musical brilliance, then.

ESA
Ok, ross.

Jessica Amber Murray
i don't even know if that's an insult or not.

ESA
Lol

Bahhj this lady sounds so awesome. Shes obseased with doritos too

Jessica Amber Murray
really? sounds like some fun dorito nacho parties are to be had.

ESA
She was also impressed by my ability to find condomsband tanpons by the thousand. A good sign

i don’t actually even really know what the fuck she’s even talking about

ESA
so whenever I answer the phone. I can be like "Hellooooo"

Jessica Amber Murray
if you'd like, i suppose. i'm kind of more of a sombre "hello", myself.

ESA
Youre like Ross from friends when he enters a room. Hes like "hi..."

Jessica Amber Murray
back to ross, again. it's more of an e'lo, with the emphasis on the first syllable. could probably be cut off comically to have me emphasizing HELL. *ring* *ring* HELL

i haven't seen the show enough to really identify, but i think i'm more rachel (that was jennifer aniston, right) than ross.

ESA
BAHHHHHHHHH NO WAY

youre fuckng ross

Theres no disputing that

Jessica Amber Murray
fuck, i think i'm more chandler than ross.

i'm like multiple personality disorder half chandler half rachel.

ESA
No way. Youre not chandler at all

Jessica Amber Murray
btw, you're more like courtney cox than phoebe. totally.

ESA
Youre 100% ross.

Haha. I love monica. Im becoming more and more like her. She is soooooooo my mom

Jessica Amber Murray
listen, it's not that i'm not enjoying this, but i need to set up an email account and then write out detailed wire-transfer-for-septuagenarians instructions.

ESA
Ok bye. Im bored. You can just ignore me. Lololol

Re: i'm in windsor

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address

i just called td to ask them if there was an easy way to transfer money over the phone. there isn't. however, it can be transferred over email.

i need to set up an account, first. i'll then write you a tutorial that explains how to do it.

i'm sorry, but i was really relying on that transfer. i was there in the room when she promised in front of him. they were going to give me $2000 up front, but i asked them to hold on to it for a bit so that it could be applied towards something i needed.

this is something i need...

...and he wasn't even dead for a day before she broke that promise.

i can almost assure you that she's planning on giving that money to my sister instead. and i hate to say it, but i'm going to drag her ass through court if she wants to play like this.

i'll have another email coming in a few minutes.

Re: i'm in windsor

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: grandmother’s email address

my stepmother is NOT wiring me the money she promised to wire me.
ugh. she fucking bailed on me. again. i'm not getting a dime out of this woman without taking her to court.

gotta call my grandmother...

RE: your dad

From: stepmother’s address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

your sister says Leo's phone is ***********.

I have no money at the moment. The service is on Thursday at McEvoy-Shields and the internment is Friday at Pinecrest.

oh no, he didn't....

Illuminous
i just want you both to know that i really appreciate you making me laugh last night. i really needed it, after talking to my dad.

ESA
Hahaaaaaa lol ok. Any time. Were jess and i more hillarious than usual? Jeeeeebusss

Illuminous
the rondeau rivalry was a good distraction

ESA
RONDO.

Jessica Amber Murray
i think illuminous is quite correct, actually.

Re: your dad

From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

ok, i'll have to leave tuesday night, then.

i'm sorry to be irritating about this, but she's not going to be back until tonight, and i can't even be sure if she's going to check her email. i don't even know leo's phone number. i might not be able to even contact her.

it should be something you can do over the internet. if there's a fee, i'll swallow it.

i understand there are costs involved in planning a funeral and that they take precedent. however, i have to know if you're wiring or not so i can plan around it (which might mean hitching out tomorrow afternoon empty-handed).

j

RE: your dad

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

The service will start around 10:00 AM Wednesday....

incrementally pivoting away

ESA
How are you doing?

Jessica Amber Murray
i'm alright. i had a little cry this morning, but it passed quickly. i'll probably take the bus home...the funeral is on wednesday... i was expecting a wire transfer from my step mother a few days ago, but it didn't go through because she couldn't leave the room while he was dying. everything revolved around that transfer. i'm not certain it's coming anymore. so i'm stressing about that a bit. but i'm emotionally stable. i mean, this has been two years coming. i've had a lot of time to cope. it was just watching him go through the process of actually dying that i wanted to avoid. it might hit me harder later, but right now i'm really more glad it's over for everybody - especially him. he was always very stoic, but the last few months were terrible for him.

i was hoping to get a room by noon and start calling people, but i need the transfer to cover it. i sent a lot of emails out last night and didn't get anything back except 'rented'. it's getting late, though, so i'm going to hit the pay phones....

ESA
:( :( :( :( :( :( :(

so you're still in Windsor? When is the bus ?

I'll see I I can find you money or something

Jessica Amber Murray
you *are* turning into your mother - yes i'm in windsor!! i'd catch the bus out probably tuesday night, maybe wednesday morning. i'll find a way to scrobble something together, don't worry about it....it'll be either my stepmother or my grandmother at the last minute...

ESA
WOAH

I AM A MOM.

It didn't click in until right now.

Jessica Amber Murray
lols. i think you can settle for worried friend :P. i'll be in windsor until i bus out, though, k? i'll be in ottawa for wednesday at the latest. and i'm leaving with a place, too. in fact, i already have one. i just have to get him a check. i'm pretty sure i have two, even. i'm just looking to see if i can find something better... all is well.

ESA
If I can't take Leroy, do you want him for a bit? I'l buy kitty pheromones

I found a room, I think with some artist/photographer lady. she seems kewl.

It would be until I find a permanent place for him. I'll pay for food and litter and stuff

Jessica Amber Murray
actually, i kind of wanted to have a talk with you about crashing with leroy. i've seen what leroy is capable of. i think it depends on the place. i don't mind cats in general, but leroy has some glandular problems and some anger management issues and i'm not really comfortable with dealing with that. with the one on high street, i think he could be an outside cat for a few weeks. i could put some food out for him. if he wants to chill, we can play in the yard. in the house? not so keen on that. for the one on marion (which is the one i really want), it's a little less safe for him to be outside, i think. there's a yard in the back, but i suspect he'd escape. maybe the change of scenery will modify his behaviour. in all honesty, though, i'd prefer you find another person to watch him for a bit.

ESA
I think he needs to be outside. he has so much energy. He's been great for the last 2 weeks though. ever since i got rid of that couch.

Jessica Amber Murray
hrmmn. well, i'm not going to make a decision that's going to result in you losing your cat. can you brainstorm other ideas, though?

ESA
somebody else in Windsor. They haven't emailed me back, but it seems like its a ground floor house...

I meant, the place with the room is a ground floor house.

If they don't want him, then maybe he can live with illuminous? But I don't know what his plans are

Jessica Amber Murray
ok, i like being the backup plan for leroy better :)

ESA
kk :)

Jessica Amber Murray
i also just want to reiterate that if you're just looking to crash for a few weeks and then find something else then i'm perfectly comfortable with you crashing with me. not pressuring, just pointing out that you don't *have* to pay that temporary rent (although i suppose it was smart to plan around me, considering my payment plan is in a questionable state)

i think illuminous mentioned that if he doesn't hear back from one of the places that an application was filled out for then he's going to stay in ottawa. that being said, i think he was kind of basing his decision on living with at least one of us. and guess it's down to etan at this point.

ESA
Yeah. I just don't want to deal with the pressure of dealing with them. If illuminous wants a roommate, then he should find one, and not rely on me to figure it out. Maybe he can contact etan.

I'm going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Or the next day. Need a few to figure my own shit out

Jessica Amber Murray
k. sorry to be apprehensive about leroy, but if you need me to do anything else down here in the next day or two or the next upcoming weeks i probably can.

ESA
No probs. I got everything under control. Also, you can use all my stuff if u want......shower curtain, dishes etc. I dont want to pay for a storage container

Jessica Amber Murray
i should have a ton of that stuff, but i don't mind hanging on to it. i should have a little bit of temporary storage space. not a whole lot, though.

ESA
Oh oknever mind then. I just thought u might need it.

Jessica Amber Murray
i've still got dishes and most other things of the nature from my last place. they're in my dad's garage. like, i'm going to need a big van to move. and a shower curtain is $5.

ESA
Lol my shower curtain waa fifty

Jessica Amber Murray
is it made of out of print vinyl? wow....

ESA
Well its a cloth one which was 35 and the liner was 7

Its very beautiful

God im bourgie

Jessica Amber Murray
aaaah. well, maybe i *will* take your shmancy shower curtain, then!

ESA
Ok but ill want it back. It was sort of an investment for my future.

Jessica Amber Murray
you should put it in a lock box, the value of cloth grows exponentially over time.

ESA
Hahahjaha

Re: your dad

From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

ok. presuming some money gets wired from one source or the other, i'll take the bus home on tuesday night or very early wednesday morning. it's about ten hours. nana won't be back in town until tonight. i should probably book that soon, though. what time are you planning for?

i have something lined up for sure tomorrow afternoon, i just have to get him a letter from odsp (which i'll have to get in the morning) and a check, but there's another place i like better that i'm hoping to hear back from first. i'll have to call them in the morning. thing is i can't stall the other one too long.....

j

RE: your dad

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

We are looking at Wednesday for the funeral....

Re: i'm in windsor

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>   
To: grandmother’s email address

he died this morning, around 1:45.

i think it's for the best that the process is over. it's been long, slow and painful for everybody, especially for him. with the kind of life he's been living over the last few months, death should be viewed as an escape from the cage of conscious existence.

it seems like what they did was take him off the anti-seizures and then load him up with sedatives. i haven't heard the exact cause yet, but it was probably a brain hemorrhage, and he probably went in his sleep.

there wasn't any other possible outcome. the drugs were just prolonging the inevitable.

that means she should, in theory, be able to wire it today. i'd appreciate it if you acted otherwise unless i send another email, though. she's not always reliable in the best of times, and she rarely is in the worst of them. if she's mad at me or resentful over me not being there, she won't wire it. altruism and empathy are two of the things that her psychological conditions do not allow for.

i'll be back in town in a few days for the funeral. i couldn't handle watching him die, but i definitely want to go to that. i need to find out when that is, too. i want to get something signed in the next day or two, get the keys, then leave immediately afterwards.

if neither of you wire it, i'm sort of fucked. if you both wire it, i can just give you the money back when i get back.

i'll let you know if she sends me any more info.

j

Re: your dad

From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

i'm sorry i couldn't be there at the end, but i would like to be home for the funeral.
it's done.

your dad

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

Passed away Sunday morning at 1:45