i'm just trying to imagine what i'd do if you permanently took away the gear.

i'd just snap. i'd be drunk all the time. i might end up in jail, even. i'd just stop caring at all.

and suicide is really a likely end point.

like i say - if it comes down to it, i'll go homeless in order to put my stuff in storage. i'd rather pay $400 for storage and eat out of a shelter than pay $400 for a room and sell or lose my gear. it's saving the electronics that will take priority over everything, even my own safety.

yes, i'm a materialist. i'm all about possessions. and i don't have any patience for your stupid hippie bullshit. 

and, no, i can't sell my gear - i wouldn't have any reason to exist, without it.

that would be a death sentence. i would kill myself. because i wouldn't have any reason to keep living...

it's kind of a real point when you're talking about a room, too, right.

i mean, i can't live in a room. i have thousands of dollars worth of gear. i can't leave it in the living room. i need a door to lock it behind. if it comes to it, i'll have to put it in storage, and i'd be more likely to just live in a shelter until i can find an actual apartment.

but, that's just the point: living in a room necessitates that you waste whatever extra money you have, because you can't spend it on anything valuable because you live in a room.

sure: an extra $400/month could be spent on gear. but, then i'd need an apartment to store it. i can't buy expensive gear and leave it in the room, that's not safe.

i guess if you're obese, you could eat more. i'm not going to do that.

on top of that, if you're stuck in a room, you're likely to feel the urge to get drunk, because you're bored and depressed, and perhaps stressed out from the forced interactions with the other tenants. 

so, i can't even make sense of what the intent even is. i'm not asking for special treatment, here. this is just a stupid way to manage something. it's really a very potent recipe for encouraging alcoholism, as far as i can see.

with low income tenants, you should be trying to taking away as much money from them as you can. 

i'm just trying to, like...

35% of $1200 is $420, which would be enough for a room. and, i'd then end up with about $400 unbudgeted, monthly. this is just standard disability. i'm not getting extra cash. 

what do they expect me to spend this on? beer? marijuana?

i'm disabled. what else am i going to spend it on? 

if i could find a place that cheap that is safe, i'd take it. sure. but, i can't imagine what i'd even do with the extra money. a good proportion of it would no doubt be spent on beer.

i'd rather have a nice apartment than extra beer money.

it's still not enough for a minimum monthly payment on my loan, fwiw.

if i'm going to launch a human rights complaint against marda, i'm going to make it class action.

let's shut these fuckers down altogether.

...and, i'm not ready to find a boyfriend, right now. i probably never will be.

a roommate is a non-starter because of the gear. i couldn't make it make sense anyways - nobody is going to let me set up a drum kit in the living room.

could i take a temporary apartment in a part of town i don't like, and then just leave everything packed and bail the moment something better comes up?

i might have to, maybe.

i'm just imagining what life would be like if i moved to the sandwich area, for example. there's literally nothing anywhere for miles that i'd go to. i went to that metal bar there once and swore i'd never go back. so, i'd spend all my time in my room by myself.

if i were to get out to go to the tunnel, i'd have to plan around an hour or an hour and a half walk to the tunnel. would i take the bus? well, could i walk faster? so, if the show starts at 20:00, i'd want to catch a 19:00 bus and leave the house at 17:30.

that doesn't look as bad as i thought.

maybe i should contemplate units that are a little further, after all.

but, it's such stupidity from my perspective, because i'm just going to end up transiting into town all of the time, anyways. i'd rather pay the extra funds, if they'd just let me.

i need to reiterate the point.

i've never missed a month of rent. never been late. was usually early.

and, i have $1500 in the bank to put down on first and last.

the problem is that the only vacancies in my price range are run by a management company that is illegally pushing down a rent to income ratio, and is refusing to rent to people with student loan defaults.

i could very well walk out of here via the process of putting my items in storage, and ending up in a hostel. and, odsp might even pay for it.

if i were to leave windsor, where would i go?

the only place that makes any sense right now is toronto. but, i'd have to hitch-hike down there and search for something out of a tim horton's. and, it's only going to happen when i'm done the legal fights here.

i could end up in the hostel for months because i have to stay here to sue these people.

it's an absurd situation. i have the means to pay, and there are vacant units in my price range, but i'm not allowed to apply for any of them.

i need to get caught up on the discography, because it's becoming clear that my main focus for the foreseeable future is going to be fighting multiple legal battles, simultaneously.

this is life. all i want to do is play guitar. but there's always some fucking bullshit. 

if i was going to be a lawyer, and i was never going to be a lawyer, then this is what i'd want to do - go after slumlords and try and take down the bourgeoisie. i wouldn't mind sitting on odsp and working pro bono. i gave up because i realized the system is rigged - that these legal principles are just imaginary things, really.

i could very well end up fighting an appeal to stay here as i go after the local management company on human rights charges to try and find somewhere to move to. i might need to fight legal battles on both fronts. and, then i'm doing what i didn't want to do - i'm working for no purpose, spending eight-ten hours a day fighting to keep the gear safe, but not being able to use it. that's as pointless as just getting a fucking job, right?

but, i may very well literally have no other choice.

if i'm lucky, the company will listen to me, or at least give me somewhere nice to stay. that will save everybody a lot of time, and let me get back to doing something i care about within a couple of weeks.

if not, this could be a really long slog.

gah.

i was focused, then scattered after lunch.

nothing. some expensive properties that tell me they're not renting when i call. is it the google voice?

"head office posts those, they don't have anything to do with us."

ugh.

well, they're all overpriced, anyways. i'd need some scheme.

inri055 is done. let me get back to writing it up. and maybe i can finally ship tomorrow.

http://www.ohrc.on.ca/en/human-rights-and-rental-housing-ontario-background-paper/minimum-income-criteria#fnB216

it turns out that marda is not just preventing access to showings based on credit history, which is barely legal, but is also restricting access to showings based on income - which is completely illegal.

i'd rather get a unit than take them to the human rights tribunal, but what they're doing is atrocious and i'd take glee in shutting them down.

what i've done to start is lie on the application. you need to make $2000/month to get access to a $725/month apartment, which is ridiculous. i was making about $1800 after taxes when i worked for microsoft. you couldn't get into this apartment if you were the manager at mcdonalds.

but, it's an old, falling apart building. it should be full of pensioners and disabled people. right now, it appears to have a high vacancy - because this company is making it impossible to get in.

how do you calculate that you need $2000 for a $725/month apartment?

my expenses would be as follows:

725 (rent)
  85 (medication)
    0 (they advertise free wifi)
  60 (hydro)
200 (groceries)
  20 (laundry)
-----
1090

but, i get a $45 hydro rebate - unless it's electric heating, in which case i get even more.

so, i'm at $1045 in costs, maybe less - leaving me $150 spending money a month. that's a lot. what do i need $2000 for?

- a/c (no thanks)
- cable (no thanks)
- phone (no thanks)
- car (no thanks)

you get the point.

but, it's not up to some bourgeois entity to manage my finances for me. i don't want a fucking car; that's why i live downtown, so i can walk. and, fuck you for getting in my face about it.

the only way i could get to see the unit was to lie. so, i lied. and, i'll have to be persuasive when i get there in demonstrating that i'll be just fine after credits.

ugh.

fucking rentier capitalists with their property as theft. they ruin everything. never fails.

the single most important factor for me is that i need to be within a half hour walk from the tunnel.

so, that rules out the whole sandwich area - which is a pretty boring part of town, anyways.

i'm a downtown person. i want concrete and streetlights. i want 24 hour convenience stores. and, i don't want wild animals.

i also don't want to live on campus, or to close it. i don't get along with the younger generation very well. and, they don't recognize me as older than them. if i end up moving close to campus, i'm going to end up telling a bunch of kids to leave me alone.

the ideal zone is really a four or five block radius away from where i am. i'd rather move closer to town than away from it. and, stuff is coming up here. i just have to be patient.

it seems like hallowe'en is a holiday in the real estate business. nothing up today. but, i'm going to make a call around noon.

i'm going to be working on inri055 today, i think. i'm just waiting for information, right now.

i left a mix of this aside in may, 2015 but i don't quite remember why. my notes aren't helping. i know i wanted to redo the ambient mix - which wasn't very ambient - but that doesn't really explain why i have this transitional thing that i put aside. i kind of remember thinking that i just liked the combination as it was.

i also wanted a guitar mix.

so, that's three combinations. and, it should get the disc close to fill.