...but i want to make a point clear. it should already be clear...

...but if i don't go to your shows, or review your records, or otherwise acknowledge your existence, chances are pretty high that the reason is that i think you suck. and, there's a lot of bad music in detroit, controlled by a lot of filters with very bad taste.

so, i mean, if i'm not "supporting your scene", it's not some kind of accident. it's because i don't like it. and, i don't care how cool you think you are, either.

broadly speaking, art should not and cannot be thought of as a transactional process. this idea of "supporting the scene" is exactly why there's so much garbage out there - people get shows because they did somebody a favour, and are consequently expected to buy into a system before they can get something out of it. it's pay to play. and, it's bullshit, and i won't have anything to do with it.

i understand that i need to meet people and network, that i can't just create the greatest thing ever and expect it to magically sell, that i have to find some way to market it. i understand that i live in a capitalist reality, whether i like it or not.

but, i'm not remotely interested in any sort of "scene" that rewards loyalty over talent. that scene is going to suck, and it won't take long before it's full of dumbass macho bros sitting around by themselves wondering why nobody shows up.

i need you to evaluate my art on it's merit and i want to be a part of a scene that values my talent, not one  that rewards me for seniority and for showing up.

there's reasons i'm at the age i'm at and have kept an arms-length distance from every scene i've ever been near. after a while, i basically hate virtually everybody, and the feeling is often fairly mutual.

but, i need it to be about the value of the art, or i don't want to show up at all.

i had to go out for a few hours this afternoon. would i come back to another infiltrated machine? 

well, it came out of hibernation ok. but, i started poking around and found a bunch more weird deployment files that i don't recognize, which got deleted. but, there were no obvious problems, yet.

i lost the week, which means it's time to do another lookahead for shows for next week...

i made some tweaks, first in the gpedit and then in the firewall.

then, i decided to check my email before i got started and found the notice from the oiprd at a dropbox link.

activists beware: dropbox is a spook site. you can look this up. never click a dropbox link or install software from dropbox, it will install police surveillance software on your machine.

and, i then got my dberr updates, as expected. so, i suspect i'm running on borrowed time, and i'll need to reinstall by the next reboot.  

i'm not certain if the trigger was the email from the cops or updating one of the mmc plugins.

so, i'm torn between forcing the reinstall and waiting, but i think that so long as i don't open any documents, what they can do is limited. it's all backed up. repeatedly...

i actually kind of want to see what happens by letting it sit.

but, i expect to need to reimage after the next reboot, and that's ok.

for the day, i need to look ahead another week and then read through these documents. and, i'll reimage tonight.